Rejection by group of friends

[Sunday01]

I had an very close group of women friends that I loved dearly and saw every week for nearly 4 years. I had been getting the feeling that I wasn't as welcome as I used to be but thought I had been imagining it. Things came to a head a few weeks ago and I felt that I needed to ask if everything was ok. So I did. To cut a long story short the answer was that they didn't like my personality anymore. Even though they said I was a kind and giving person it seems they had enough of me. These friends have been there as fantastic friends and support as they know things can get tough for me as all of my family have mental illness.  These women were the very last people I thought would behave like this.

i am really struggling to come to terms with this as I didn't think I'd be dealing with this in my late forties. It feels like intense grief like someone has died and I can't seem to get things straight in my head. The feeling of loss is huge and I can't for the life of me understand what happened. The feelings are starting to impact other areas of my life. I am trying very hard to move on and remain positive but I cant 

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Sunday01,

Welcome to BeyondBlue and thanks for reaching out.

First, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you've experienced this and your friends have said that to you.  It's incredibly difficult to be on the receiving end of comments like these.  I also know that there is often not a lot people can say to make you feel better because the loss of a friend is very much like grief.  There can be a lot of anger, sadness and confusion.

The best advice that I have for you is to allow yourself to experience this loss.  Often people will lose friends but they will try to pretend that it never happened and to 'move on quickly'.  Friends are a big part of our lives, so it's completely understandable that you would be hurt by them.

When you're ready, you may find that it helps to find activities just for you, as often it can be hard to reach out again (to new friends).  Journalling, exercise, yoga, running, knitting, meditation, baking - all of these are healthy activities that can allow you to focus just on you.

All the best and I hope this helps a little.

Take care,

[LittleSquee]

I'm so sorry this has happened. The same thing happened to me.. I'm 31 and so alone.. my closest friend just stopped talking to me, won't tell me what has happened and said she is not angry with me. I am so hurt, sad and lonely but I also feel like whats the point in trying to make new friends - this happens to me a lot (I am currently being diagnosed for BPD). I wish I had friends to hang out with.

[Sunday01]

Thank you so much! Great suggestions 

[Sunday01]

I am sorry this happened to you too. It is painful but we will both get there. Maybe we just need to give ourselves time to heal from the hurt

[onward_and_upward_]

Hi Sunday01, I am also going through the same things with all my friends except slightly different. I decided while I was going through my depression and a very hard time in my life that couldn't be easily understood by others to create space from my friends until I was "normal" again. Now that I feel light and my old self I am trying to reconnect but they have all moved on and basically ignore me reaching out again. It is so painful and feels worse than the depression itself. I feel lonely at 42 and feel like everyone has their friends and established a successful life except me. I am being positive. It's amazing how kind strangers are and it makes me hope that I am not too old to make new friends.. maybe even better ones to suit the new me that has developed through the last tough few years. I understand your pain and hope that just knowing it isn't just you helps somehow. X

[love_care_Tru]

Hi guys. I am new to Beyond Blue and am too going through a similar experience. It Is very very painful but I am trying to stay strong. I hope you can all stay strong too. Lots of love xxxxx

[Guest_1055]

Hello

Yes I know what rejection feels like too... For me it is a deep gnawing sensation in your whole heart. It makes me just want to curl up tight and cry an cry.

I am so sorry others have felt this pain as well and my tears are for them. Hugs to us all xxxx

Shelley