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Pregnant and now alone

Community Member

Hi all

i am due to give birth any day and my long term partner has informed me that they are unsure of what they want anymore and right now im not the person they see themselves with anymore.

i am shocked and broken hearted for my baby and i 😞

6 Replies 6

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Bella2200 and welcome,

First of all I'm going to say the obvious... What the hell was your partner thinking telling you this when birth is imminent!!?!! I mean come on as if birth isn't stressful enough!

Ok I just had to say that. Seriously though. So irritated at your partner. I truly hope this is just the "oh my goodness I'm going to be a parent.... Run!" Reaction common to many parents but the timing is just awful.

But I suppose if the reality is your partner abandons you both and is not adult enough to be present for the start of baby's life...they really don't deserve either of you.

Moving on.. What is essential... Care and support for you.

What supports have you got around you? Are there close friends or family you can call and ask for emergency support? A few days after bub arrives those dreaded baby blues will hit and if you are already low and unsupported they hit pretty damn hard (I know this one from experience). So who can be with you to help you?

When bub arrives you'll get to see a community midwife and they do ask you about the supports you have. If you don't have any please speak up about your situation. They will check on you more often and suggest services available locally so you can connect with some supports.

In the meantime pop into your local women's health care place. They have low cost counselling and the one near me was happy to see women even with a newborn in their arms. Try and organise some external supports now before the chaos that is a new baby arrives.

If you are sleepless and down please write. There are people around at all hours here. You don't have to do this alone. We might not be able to give practical support but encouragement and a non judgemental place to be heard... This is it.

Finally... The thing I really should have said first. Congratulations. Bringing a new life into the world is a beautiful thing. Your baby is going to be loved regardless of if your partner stays or goes.

Please take good care of yourself.

❤ Nat

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Bella as Nat has said al this late stage it should be all focus on you and the baby supports in place cot crib change area baby bath pram you don't have time to go chasing someone who about now suddenly gets cold feet. I was in a situation where the mother of my two was getting cold feet during the second pregnancy she had had depression for years any way so it was just another speed bump for me plus she had a disability as well so I wound up looking after 2 children and a partner with a disability and myself till my partner died from pneumonia great So I know where the priorities are kids come before first friends relatives work fall behind kids first chase him later it will be easier that way


Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Bella

Welcome to the forum, Congratulations on the impending birth of your baby's. This is a safe and friendly place.

Nat has given some great caring advice.

I am wondering if your partner is just scared. Having a baby can scare men and women so much they want to run away. Of course running away is not an opinion for a woman. Sometimes the whole responsibility of a baby really terrifies some men. This is not excusing him but trying to work out hat is happening.

As Nat says you need support and to look after yourself .

You have to concentrate on yourself and your wonderful baby.

Do you have a mum or a sister who can support you and be at the birth?

A break up is a shock at anytime but right now it is the worst timing.

Feel free to post when you want to. This is a very caring community.


Thanks so much Nat! I am beyond shocked and want the hurt to go away.

Apologies have been made for 'bad timing' but it just doesnt begin to cut it!

i have an amazing support network so very lucky but it doesnt take pain away 😞

Thanks Quirky!

I am beyond shocked and sick of feeling sad everyday when this should be a happy time for me!!

Have great support network and it beginning to get easier each day...have just never felt so let down and miserable before

Dear Bella2200,

It is wonderful you have some great support around you. It must be hard to feel elated about the arrival of your baby while now having to deal with your partner leaving.

Hopefully you will be able to focus on babies arrival, that you will have people there to support and care for you and baby. It will no doubt be a bitter sweet moment, but one I hope you will be able to cherish in so many ways.

The birth of a baby is a very precious gift.

Would it help for you to write a letter to your partner, one that you will not necessarily give to them. Write out all your anger, frustration, hurt, grief, pain and anything else that comes to mind. I find it helps me to find ways to release all that is horrible and miserable.

Then write a letter to your unborn child, telling them how much you will always love them. Write down your hopes and dreams for their life, for your life together.

You may want to write down honestly in a letter to yourself how you feel about everything. You may well have mixed thoughts about baby arriving, how things might have been and so on.

The thing is we can't go back. What has happened has occurred. The thing to do is work out how best to move forward. It is not always easy! It can feel like the hardest thing in the world! One small step, one decision at a time.

Wishing you and your baby all the very best! Cheers to you from Dools