Hello ifer,
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your experience with us. We can't imagine how hard this break up has been for you… feeling alone, overwhelmed, and hurt right now makes a lot of sense. Anyone in your position would be feeling this way, so please know you are not wrong for having these feelings. It must have felt like such a shock to the system to have your partner pull away after making so many future plans... it sounds like they are going through a very overwhelming and confusing time themselves too. Even so, silence and separation can very much feel like abandonment, and even though you are understanding and want to focus on becoming more independent (which is amazing!) this part of you that's feeling afraid is allowed to feel this way, and needs all the love and nurturing you can muster right now.
Imagine this part of you as a child, how would you provide that child with care and reassurance? Perhaps you could turn to activities, people, or places that help you to feel soothed? What comes to mind?
It's important that you allow yourself to feel these feelings without judgement, so that you can really process your grief around what has happened. Then slowly, you might be able to incorporate the things that bring you joy again, which will help you to not only rebuild, but also connect with a sense of independence. This may feel like a very messy, confusing, and emotional process at first - and that's okay. It can feel absolutely awful and so painful to be in the midst of a breakup, but what I can assure you is that you will move through this, one day at a time.
How can you show up for yourself today? What is one loving thing you could do for you? Let's start there.
Warm regards,
Sophie M.
