Partner doesn't want children- I do.

[violetlily12]

Hello all. I need some guidance on my situation. I'm 32 and in a very healthy and happy relationship (since 2021) with a 43 year old man. When I entered this relationship, he said he definitely wanted children. As of last year, he admitted to me that he didn't want any more kids. he has 1 child from a previous relationship.

I feel torn. I love him, he is the best partner i've ever had and yet I do want to experience being a mother. Please keep in mind that there's things holding me back from leaving- I am dependent on him. I have severe trauma from domestic abuse in my 20's -  I suffer with severe panic attacks and anxiety. My parents live in NSW, i'm in Queensland and have lived with my partner since 2022. 

I am at a loss. breaking up would devastate me and I truly feel like he is the love of my life, despite not agreeing on having children. Do I stay with him and never experience what it is like to be a mother, or do I do something that could potentially be a mistake and lose someone I love? 

[white knight]

Hi welcome 

Only you can answer your question however,  I'll mention my thoughts.

Some people I've known supplement with animals. It can work wonders but for some they never substitute for a child.

I feel, as he has 1 child it is unfair he is not considering your (childless) situation. Is that love? I personally would question that. But that's me, it's how I tick.

I would (if you haven't done so) press him for one child only. Also explain to him the position he has placed you in, that he agreed to now has changed his mind. That you are very happy otherwise and one child would complete your life. 

Due to your heavy reliance on him there is no other alternative.   Separation is not on your agenda. 

I'm sorry but I cannot help you further. 

TonyWK