Parenting Issues

[Melbourne_Aussie]

Hi,

I am struggling to figure out if my x-partner is being a reasonable parent. He is a single parent and live a hour away from me, with two girls 5 and 11. My daughter is the 5 year old and about to start primary school. During this holidays I have only be able to have her over for a night. Every time I ask to have her, he always makes up a excuse why I cant have her over.
1. Shes been naughty and will not clean her room.
2. Shes been fighting with her sister.
He does not want to reward her by letting me have her.
3. She's not aloud to come over weekdays because hes getting her into a routine for school.
This next excuse I received today, is what prompted me to post here.
4. She's no longer aloud to sleep over whilst at school (Until next holidays) as she will be in a routine, but I can visit.
I always get form him "I'm the parent, wish people would stop telling me how to parent"

Am I going crazy or has he lost the plot?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Certainly I read that he is being controlling and trying to limit your input in your daughters life, its fairly clear. 

You havent mentioned if you have a family court judgement on access. I assume you dont and if so therein lies the problem. Attend a family solicitor and apply for part custody or similar so that will preserve your rights (and your childs rights) for access.

When my children were young my ex wife had sole custody and I part access. It meant every second weekend plus school holidays. My ex could not break that agreement unless she got my consent eg one of my children was ill etc.

So, protect yourself and get a court ruling because it does appear he is wanting to shut you out of your childs life.

PS no amount of verbal agreement will suffice.

TonyWK

[Sophie_M]

Hi Melbourne_Aussie

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we can hear how frustrated and overwhelmed you're feeling at the moment. We hope we can alleviate some of your stress by being here for you and supporting your mental health journey throughout what sounds like a very difficult time for you. 

What a difficult space you find yourself in - we'd really love to offer you an extra listening ear at any time of the day or night - please don't hesitate to call us on our phone support line (1300 22 4636), or visit us via our online webchat service here ... We're available 24/7.

A really great go to for parenting advice and/or legal advice would be Relationships Australia and/or your state legal aid service (if you are eligible). Co-parenting after separation is an incredibly volitile space at times, and whilst we can't offer you legal or specific parenting advice here, we defintely want to support your mental health by being here for you.

Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgmental space to talk things through, and our online forum community is here to offer as much support, advice (on mental health matters) and conversation as you need.

• Relationships Australia can be reached here
• Legal Assitance services can be searched for here
• There's also a lot of valuable information available online - if you google "parenting after separation", you will find valuable information and resources such as this one here. 

Welcome to our supportive family Melbourne_Aussie - we hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M