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Out of control!

Real1
Community Member

I am in a bad situation and can't see the end of the tunnel! I have a long time girlfriend who lives 3 states away, she has this guy who's been after her. She sees him just as a friend, but he wants more. Unfortunately she is young and gullible, which he prays on. Despite a 4 hour chat between them last weekend, (their second as they had one last year) this guy doesn't take a hint!

He fronted up to me the other night, via SMS, and he revealed himself for what he was...which was the wake up call she needed to see his true side. He's soon to be her boss, my BIGGEST nightmare! I trust her, as I always have after 8 years as she's very moralistic, but him I don't!

Some nights I lay in bed my head spinning and my stomach churning, it's a living hell!!! Is there any way to get a handle on this?

15 Replies 15

Real1
Community Member

Thanks Geoff. I am so damn proud of her for protecting herself. She now feels bad, for physically hurting him, but guys like that never know when to back off...clearly. Now she is done with him, she is adamant she is through.

This is the best case scenario all around! I love her more than ever!!

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Real, she should not feel sorry for hitting him because he was about to assault her, a great outcome .Geoff.

Real1
Community Member
That's what I told her. He tried last year, to kiss her, and she pushed him away. That wasn't enough for his thick head. Some people ONLY get it when they are made to. He got 3 stitches from it!!! Hahaha He won't be molesting her again. Thank God!!!

Zeal
Community Member

Hi Real,

I'm so glad to hear of this outcome. It's sweet that you feel so proud of your (ex) girlfriend, and I'm glad you have assured her that she did the right thing to defend herself.

What concerned me greatly is reading that your girlfriend faked her own death, and left you devastated for three years before resurfacing. That is an incredibly strange and almost disturbing thing for her to do. I suggest she speak to a psychologist or counsellor, as this kind of behaviour is genuinely concerning, and needs to be addressed. Going to her doctor (GP) for a referral is a good approach.

I hope you are doing well 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

Real1
Community Member

Thanks Zeal. Part of her healing process was to seek help last year. After she found her step-dad she couldn't handle it, and with other issues eating at her she tried taking her life! Fortunately a friend came by and found her before it was too late. Following that she got the help she's always needed. Part of that was rectifying issues in her life...like how she left me.

I agree, faking her death was bizarre. Not to defend her but she was abused as a child--a ward of the state for years--it's part of her coping mechanism; she runs away. She learned a valuable lesson from it, and swears "running away" wasn't the answer. I forgave her, much to her amazement, and gradually we grew closer again (I have never met anyone who's as morally sound as she is in my life)!

Since the other guy has gone, tail between his legs, we have grown closer. My anxiety is in check, and I slept throughout the whole night last night. Not having him around fills me with joy. I feel I can exhale and breath again, I'm back in a good place and I can think straight and enjoy life again.

Thanks one and all for helping me through this dark period. Your help and advice was invaluable! It helped offset my suffering and allowed me to vent my issues.

God bless you all!

Zeal
Community Member

Hi Real,

I am so glad you two have grown closer, and that you were able to forgive her. You're right in saying that there is no excuse for faking your own death. However, it sounds as though she was genuinely sorry for the suffering it caused you, and didn't want to hurt anyone. Thank goodness for that friend finding her in that vulnerable state, and saving her! Child abuse has so many far-reaching consequences to the victim, and counselling is almost always needed. I'm glad your girlfriend (correct me if this word no longer applies) got professional support for her issues, both past and present.

I am so pleased that your anxiety is more under control, and that your sleeping is also improving.
I am glad we could offer support and words of advice during the rough period that you are now thankfully free from. If you ever need help again, you can always come to the forum 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal