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Other woman claiming to be pregnant

Orchard
Community Member
I have been in this relationship for better part of 10 years, my partner took a job at the start of the year which required him not to come home - early start, late finishes, then I found out that another female was there needless to say I had my suspicions. Then she messaged me saying she was pregnant with his child, we had been in a break to sort things out. He told me that he did indeed have relations with her but with no intention to be with her, however, she has threatened me, sent over 40 messages claiming he is kicking me out so she can move in, has vandalised his things, gone through everything blabbed around the town personal information. She claimed that she would provide test results, but it’s been three days and nothing, she refuses to do a DNA test on said child. I’m fearful because I don’t see her stopping until she gets what she wants which seems to be my life, the house etc. does anyone have any insight into what I should do? Ignore her until she can prove otherwise? Counseling? I’m struggling to see the end to which lengths she will go. I feel what she has sent is half truths and what she wants me to believe. She is going to the extent of driving past, wanting to confront me. I feel that she is claiming to be pregnant to keep him, I feel she needs some professional help.
43 Replies 43

Orchard

that sounds like a sensible plan. Just wait and have your children as your priority.When you feel like it if you want let us know how you are.?

Yes of course, I keep having triggers and then all of a sudden nothing makes sense, then I question and although the answer is always the same I feel uncomfortable, violated, humiliated. It’s a horrible way to be, I wasn’t even I contributing factor, very hard not to take on board all the emotions, trying to keep them in check. See how I get on in time. Thank you.

Well, so far no results have been given, the damage she has caused to the car is unbelievable, not only did she tag the outside she also put a knife through the leather seats, cut the wires so her and her friends could start it and move it - I’m not impressed. She has made a complaint to the police who called both of us - which was a lie so they never came out. I’m wondering if there isn’t anything she won’t do. She is driven by jealously and always has been, but she can’t have what I have. She needs some severe help.

The longer you prolong the inevitable, the worse the situation will get.

I don't see a, "happy ever-after" ending.

Orchard

it seems you are in limbo which is so hard with the uncertainty involved.

She may need help but you and your family need to be safe and feel protected.

Mr Paul I am not sure what you mean by prolonging the inevitable as that may mean a few things.

Hi quirky'

I was referring to police intervention. I suggested an IVO in my previous posts.

cheers

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Orchard said:Well, so far no results have been given, the damage she has caused to the car is unbelievable, not only did she tag the outside she also put a knife through the leather seats, cut the wires so her and her friends could start it and move it - I’m not impressed. She has made a complaint to the police who called both of us - which was a lie so they never came out. I’m wondering if there isn’t anything she won’t do. She is driven by jealously and always has been, but she can’t have what I have. She needs some severe help.

Orchard, you need to phone the Police! You are not in a safe situation.

Yes I've been in a similar situation and the Police got involved and BOTH exH and affair partner were "warned off of each other".
It was either that or they both faced AVOs. And I wish the Police had done that.

It only got worse and exH was the main instigator.

I cannot believe your ex partner hasn't stepped up and phoned the police himself!
Especially since he started all of this drama. His affair partner is continuing it.
You seem to be the only one really suffering.
I can see you say you want to protect your children - but waiting for the next thing is a horrible situation.

I sat back at the time and watched the veritable circus unfold before me and I had zero to do with any of it. I also kicked him out and told her she could have him lol!

I got out of the disgusting relationship.
My kids and I are now "safe".

It really doesn't matter whether it's his child or not, or no child at all. He has been unfaithful and that's the initial material point.
He is not acting to protect you and the kids - that's the next.

I would call the Police and get an AVO, protect yourself and the kids.
You don't even have to involve your ex partner.

My Prayers are with you.
EM

Hi Orchard

Sounds like she has a lot of anger, which unfortunately or maybe fortunately, she took out on your car. Very strange that she had the nerve to make a complaint to police, given her behaviour.

It seems from your post that you spoke with a police officer and on that basis they didn't come to see you, is that correct? I'm wondering, if when talking to the officer and explaining the situation if they gave you any advice on how to protect yourself?

If the conversation didn't get that far and you feel comfortable, I'd like to encourage you to ring or go and see the officer you spoke with. It just might be a good opportunity to get some advice from someone who understands the issues, personalities involved and the law. How would you feel about that?

Kind thoughts to you

It’s a terrible feeling, it’s a small town, that I wantEd to bring our children up in but I’m seeing as though that may not be possible if this continues. He said he will go to the police station tomorrow and seeing if they will step in with an IVO especially after today’s events where he was at a mates place and she rocked up starting on him which grabbed his mates attention who demanded she leave, if not he will have to apply at the courthouse.
She hasn’t come to our property and started on me, only that once through message. I have had a lot of private numbers try and call me so I’m definitely considering changing my number. Really a bad situation to be in with one so volatile.

Did the affair partner come after you?
He will be going to the police station tomorrow, as I said to him this Is your mess you need to deal with it, I haven’t spoken to my psychologist yet and don’t have an appointment until 24th September so I’m trying to hold this together as best I can. My children are my priority through all of this.