Christmas is such a stressful time, you are not alone in struggling. Summer Rose started a whole thread on it called Merry and Bright or Bah Humbug, how do you feel about the holidays? If you find this thread and read through it you'll see many of us find it hard to put on a brave face this time of year.
1. Teenagers ARE moody, that's not your fault. You can't force a teen not to be, I wish you could! But I'm afraid it's part of the deal, and very difficult and unfair for the parent involved sometimes. My sympathies.
2. We as women do tend to feel like making everyone's day run smoothly is totally our responsibility. I think we feel this at times all through the year, but the pressure is increased at Christmas. This is an unfair burden that is placed on us, by society in many ways but also by ourselves.
It is not your responsibility to make anything perfect for anyone. Christmas is a family day, meaning all your family needs to contribute something to make it work, be that physical effort, or emotional effort (ie. being a bit nicer than they feel like being, not arguing about petty things etc). It seems to me if your day wasn't great, your whole family contributed to the mood (by not coming to the table to eat together for eg - you can't physically move them so that is definitely not your fault!). Try if you can to release yourself from the cycle of self-blame. Making yourself miserable over the let down of yesterday isn't helping anyone. I know that's easy to say, not always easy to do if you're dealing with depression. But try if you can.
Taking care of yourself is the best way you can take care of your family.
All the best
GW
