Hi, My husband has mild cognitive impairment which is getting worse so the dreaded dementia is looming.
Most days I am okay but there are some where I feel really sad also angry and frustrated. He served in Vietnam and was a heavy drinker for years after and life has been hard but I kept our family together. He stopped drinking some years ago and just when life was starting to feel good his memory began to fail him. My two children are grown up now and have families of their own. I feel sad, angry and frustrated some days as I feel that I have been robbed of any sort of happy life. Were it not for my children and their partners I would have cashed it in long ago.
Most days I feel strong and say to myself that I am a survivor but there's always that odd day when sadness overcomes me and I wish things were different.
No way would I end my life and leave my beautiful children to have to deal with their father. They have suffered enough from his abusive drunken behaviour.
So why didn't I leave him years ago I hear you say. Because I have always thought that Service in Vietnam created this problem not him
Re: "No way would I end my life and leave my beautiful children to have to deal with their father. They have suffered enough from his abusive drunken behaviour." Thankyou
That comment brought back memories of 1996 when I went to a place I will never go again. We should all remember the hurt we could leave behind us by our loved ones and of course children.
What you have done is devote yourself to your man that has issues that were caused by the war. That is honourable and you can walk tall.
Have you contacted the RSL or Government departments to seek help/respite etc? You likely have. What I think you need is time out. Dare I say that he will get to a level whereby he wont be able to take care of himself. I'd suggest then he be placed in a facility where he can get the best of care. You could have some days with him. But we are talking here about measures that can help YOU. Because although we can all identify with your husbands issues you need help also. you cant continue to ignore your own health.
So start with a GP check up and let loose on your problems and struggles. Seek out all the assistance you can find to open the release valve a little in your life.
And- well done for hanging in there.
Here is a poem for you and your husband.
White soldier in every town
Wears a slouch hat to hide the frown
Statue a reminder of where he’d been
Greatest carnage the world had seen
In a trench with a mate
About to charge then hesitate
Bullets fly above their heads
Living then but as good as dead
Share a fag make a joke
Fellow digger-bloody good bloke
Bullets zing all around
So much mud there be no ground
Immortal statue at every town
Tribute to those diggers fallen down
Could have been me- maybe you
Lest we forget ‘soldier blue’
Hat on reverse teenage joy
Same age then- only a boy
Jumper’s word – USA
Ignores statue with plenty to say
If concrete face could erase the frown
Of white statue in every town
He’d halt the boys without Aussie pride
Teach them not to copy Yankee stride
“All my mates fought for this great land
Do you boy ever understand?”
I stand here in concrete uniform
To remind you lad- of before you were born
I love you young man for you are me
But I didn’t make it to twenty three
Be proud to be Aussie no regret
Please young aussie- lest you forget…