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New mum. Hard time

tashi
Community Member
I'm a first time mum my baby is nearly 6 months old . I am exhausted i feel like I haven't slept since he was born. I feel like my fiancé is just a house mate finding it hard not to snap at each other .i feel incredibly lonely 😞 somedays barely leave the house I have a constant headache. It's all just to much ! I love my baby so much and some days are great but some days or so so testing.i constantly question what I'm doing ! .im sure this is all common new mum stuff I suppose I just need someone to talk to
8 Replies 8

BballJ
Community Member

Hi tashi,

Firstly, just want to say congratulations on the little one.

I have seen more recently how hard new parents are struggling to cope with everything that is currently going on when they have a new baby enter their lives. It is tough I understand that. I am not a mum so I may not be the best for advice on this particular scenario but I wanted to reach out and offer my support, especially if you just want someone to speak too.

My question for you is have you ever thought about going to see your GP about these feelings and possibly speaking to a psychologist? Just a thought.

My best for you,

Jay

Em74
Community Member

Hi Tashi, it sounds like you're having a really tough time right now! Being a new mum is really, really hard at times. Even though we love our babies it can be frustrating, boring and exhausting. You are absolutely not alone, I remember feeling exactly the same, and every other mum I know did too at some point. One thing I did that helped in those early days was to join a playgroup. It helped me to get out of the house and meet other mums and I made some great friends. It also helped to normalise what I was feeling. You can also get support and help through your early childhood clinic and your GP. I had postnatal depression with my first baby and I never got it treated as I thought I was somehow wrong to feel that way. I wish so much I had spoken to a health professional and actually got help back then! I wasted so much time on feeling bad! So please don't hesitate to get some advice on that. I can 100% guarantee that things get easier and better as your baby older and you will feel like yourself again. I promise! Sending you lots of good thoughts xx

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Tashi, whether or not you're been diagnosed with PND is not for me to say, this doesn't mean that you don't love your baby son, but now it's a totally different life for you, it is exhausting and all you seem to be doing is feeding and looking after him everytime he cries, but no you're not the only one who feels this way, and each one of these new mums needs to do what EM has said, join a group, there you will be able to talk with other mums, just to let you know that you're not alone.
My wife (ex) also suffered from PND which then developed into me having it as well, but her mum was living with us and was a great help, where as I pretended that I didn't have it.
Are you able to go to your local community centre they have people, nurses that you will be happy to talk with you and that's what you need to know.
They may suggest you go and see your doctor and then refer you onto a psychologist, this is something my wife never wanted to do. Geoff.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Tashi, Hello. A new baby brings joy and exhaustion while your life is changed. This can be very confusing for you and your Fiancé.

Em74 has given some good advice. I found playgroup a great place to chat to other mothers and we are still in touch many years later. When you talk honestly to other young mums you will find you are not alone. I remember feeling that every other mother seemed to be coping better than I was until I spoke to them and found that they felt like I did.

Thanks for starting this thread and I hope to hear how you are going. Your son is lucky to have such a caring mum.

Take care

Quirky

Thanks everyone for your replies. No i haven't seen a doctor or anyone about the way I'm feeling I suppose I feel silly as I'm probably just exhausted! Sleep deprivation does funny things to a person . Thanks for advice about mothers group I thought it was y really "my thing " but I have nothing to loose giving it a go

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Tashi sleep deprivation and exhaustion are real things and a GP would listen and be understanding.

Would it be possible to contact your mother.

Do try a couple of mother's groups/ playgroups to find one you feel comfortable with.

Thanks for letting us know how you are going.

Quirky

Em74
Community Member
Please don't feel silly! There is so much help out there, and much better than sitting at home alone. A playgroup may suit you better than a mother's group because usually there are mums (and dads) three who have older children, more than one child, school age kids and little kids, a whole mix, rather than just mum's with babies the same age. This was what I loved about it, being able to talk to someone who had been through it and come out the other side hahaha. Not sure where you're based but in NSW you can google playgroup nsw to find something local, and I'm sure the other states will be similar. Finding "your village" when you're a mum is so important, I still need my village around me and my kids are all in high school. You're taking such a great first step by reaching out here, you are not alone, and definitely not silly in the least. xx

BballJ
Community Member

Hi tashi,

I do believe seeing a GP may help you, anything that helps make your life easier is always a good thing. You have done a great job reaching out for help here and it is a good start, but keep seeking help to get better.

My best,

Jay