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New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve
Community Member
Hey....

My gf left 4 days ago....she says it was family reasons...but I suspect otherwise due to the fight we had.
2 years ago I left a boring relationship with three beautiful daughters...and met her 6 months later...since then
Its been an awesome journey...we moved in together 6 months later...man I'm finding it hard to write thithose 5 children moved in....I couldn't of been a more modeled bf and role model..for her children...I can't go on...I'm devistated
26 Replies 26

That sounds so familiar...but I'm sounding like your ex...I didn't talk to her for 4 days...gave a bit of space....I'm trying to get answers that she doesn't know or won't answer...the anxiety doesn't go away but for now I won't push the envelope....but she says she's missing me...so it will be just friendly chit chat atm...and I'll see where it goes

Well friendly chit chat is nice. I'm happy to hear it 🙂

Take care hey, Katy

Good morning Steve.

I’ve been watching the thread and feeling for you mate. It’s tough. One thing is on my mind Steve. If I understand you correctly, your disappearing girlfriend has five children. Is that right?
Where is she living Steve? It’s not easy to rent a place with 5 children in tow. Is there someone else involved?
It’s just that you say she “...she doesn’t know or what answer” when you try and get answers. I have heard this type of language before.

She went back to mothers place... we lived in a small coal mining town....she said she hates the town..said there's nothing to do here...which is kinda true...but I don't want to stay here as well....she said I was controlling...the last fight we before she said she was leaving was because of her phone hours...3,4 and the last fight 5 o'clock in the morning on her mobile phone...I told her 6months ago her fb and phone use were going to break us up..these are on school nights when she has to drop her children to school...I explained to her that she spends more time on her phone then she does with me and the children combined....she said but I have no friends...I said your a 36 year old mother with 5 children and a loving partner...I wasn't saying no fb but not till all hours of the morning...yes I'm on fb and I'm on it all funny hours( train driver silly hours) but rarely talk to people I normally play games....I even suggested we both go of it for a while but to no avail.....it's hard to be on my phone now cause I just hate what it's done to our relationship...

As for someone else involved....I'd hate to think there was but I'm slowly leaning towards that notion....which drives me crazy inside....I've fallen in love with this women..acted like a roll model for her children...the never had to go without....ik what your thinking....this women has duped me...I thought about that through the whole relationship and still think about that now a little....run for the hills your thinking...but she had my heart

Hi Steve

Your torment is real but I'm finding it hard to get a handle on the actions of your wife. She left a loving husband (de facto?) with her five children over an argument on how many hours she spends on Facebook?

The idea of your wife having a secret lover "..I thought about that through the whole relationship...." suggests something is very wrong here. I have no idea if there is someone else involved but in some ways it's irrelevant.

Steve, it seems for whatever reason, your wife has had enough of the marriage. A thirty six year old mother should know exactly what she wants and I think you have to ignore what she is saying and judge her only on her actions. At the moment, her actions are clearly signalling she does not want to be with you.

My counsel to you is follow the advice of white knight, Katy and Daphne. Look after your health. You should consider cutting all conduct with your wife, because every time she calls, you fall back into the misery trap. If she loves, she will respect your decision. Secondly, at some point you will have to seek a formal separation because after such a long de facto relationship, the law will see it as very similar to a marriage. There may be assets and property to be settled. I am of the understanding that you do not have any children from this marriage.

I understand your pain, Steve but I believe you need some certainty in your life right now and it doesn't seem like your wife is helping you to provide it.

Your totally right better now and I Thank you for your post....it's very challenging for me...there were a lot of trust issues on my part of what she did earlier in the relationship...Ok...time to move on