Need To Stay Strong

[Crazy_train]

I have battled severe chronic extreme clinical whatever you want to call it depression for more than 20 years, I am a 37 year old male single father of a beautiful 4 year old girl,I was forced to quit work and be a stay at home Dad to look after our baby due to my Wife not being able to cope at ALL with the baby and it was a risk to our daughters safety. I am struggling with depression, I am a stay at home Dad and I have no life and no social life whilst my Wife worked and went to the movies and had a good social life, Whilst I struggled to get out of bed to start the day with my own depression that’s before cleaning, cooking, and raising and attending to a baby girl I did find it tough at times. 7 months ago my wife left and broke down crying and explained she is a lesbian and she has a partner and they are now living together and she is happy to leave my daughter with me and she left. She took our car, left every bill with me, took the little money we had with her, and racked up over $3000 in toll charges until I fixed that so I would not occur any more fees. She then thought it was okay at 130am to want to pick our daughter up for a few hours, after I said No please see her in normal hours, she did arrange that and then went to the Police. She filed a DVO when we attended court she broke down crying and said to the judge she lied about what she had written on the application, the judge was not happy and awarded me full custody and asked if I would like to reverse the charges on her I declined. At present I am going without absolutely everything and I don’t have 5 cents to my name BUT my daughter has missed out on nothing, I keep a roof over her head, she is well fed, I keep her entertained, she has toys and clean clothes, she has a shower every day and wash and condition her hair, we live in a clean house (another of my problems OCD) I manage to get her a Mcdonalds meal or KFC once a week she is clever. I sleep less than 3 hours per night, I have a severe drug addiction and dependency I manage to hide from everyone ( I am a very hygienically clean person I am not a filthy slob) I cry every night when my daughter is asleep, I have panic attacks, I cannot relax EVER, I am weird I don’t like TV AT ALL I only like music and mainly listen to talk back radio, I don’t like social media at all ( this is the only time this stupid computer gets turned on) I don’t like many people and find people NOT funny and they actually piss me off and waste my time,

[Guest_1584]

rough damn time mate , so sorry.

been through a lot of it in variation, no lesbians but an om . Could've gotten fuull custody but my ex was still being a good mum and l so l didn't wanna deprive my daughter of her mother so l kept to us both coming and going and wkends and stuff.

l'm sorry l can't offer much help but l would say one thing , your doing a beautiful job with your daughter and if it was me l'd consider it an honor , money or not, outside life or not ,being able to raise our kids is and absolute privilege.

l often had my daughter and all her crew because the ex wouldn't have them , it was just me and them for wks on end sometimes and we had a ball.

same as you every cent went to them for food and petrol and stuff to run them around for a good time or saved for the weekends when my daughter came so that l could look after her and take her somehwere.

l know your sitch is different and worse financially and coping full time on your own but your doin great mate , an amazing job , give yourself a pat n the back eh.

And , l believe that god things come to those who sacrifice for such an important cause and eventually good things will come your way through what your doing.

don't worry yourself about the social side either , things will come there in time to you just watch.

and soon you'll be dropping her of to school and have more free time and hey all the single mums dropping there's off will be admiring you too, could be worse eh , l know your probably not even thinking women right now but hey in the future , a single dad with full custody , man they'll be tripping over themselves haha.

anyway , soldier on eh , your doing amazing , just hang in there for your girl and who knows what's around the corner.