Narcissistic MIL

[Jo905]

I am having lots of trouble with this woman.  My husband and I have been together for 24 years.  We got married almost two years ago.  She was always a nasty person that would say hurtful things but when we went to her house to tell her we were getting married the first thing that came out if her mouth was " have you seen such and such".  Such and such is some girl my husband knew when they were younger.  If all the things to say, she chose that.  Leading up to the wedding she carried in about what she was going to wear to the point she dropped be us all crazy.  I tried to include her in the wedding.  I showed her photos of my dress and tried to discuss things with her.  On the day of the wedding, she positioned herself right in front of my husband and evil eyed him through the whole ceremony.  We have photos of her looking away when I walked down the aisle.  It was as if she didn't want me there.  After the ceremony, she ran up to me and said "hope you're happy now".  I was gobsmacked!  At the reception, she kept leaving the room to smoke.   She came back at one point and announced that she had fallen over.  Not seeing any evidence of this I asked her where so that I could notify the venue.  She wouldn't answer me.   Each time I went to the toilet she would march up to my son and side ear him.  She told him that she wouldn't be putting our card in the card box and that if we wanted it we would have to go to her house to get it.  The next day she had one of her flying monkeys go and get photos developed and has a nice photo of her and my husband on her stand in the lounge room.  Two months later we were driving, my husband was towing the caravan and as she always did she rang the day we left demanding to know when we were coming home.  My husband informed her that he was driving but she cont inued to do her usual, pretend cry on the phone.  I took the phone off him m.because my previous husband was killed in a car accident.  She immediately attacked me.  Saying nasty things about my parents who died way before I met her.  She also asked me "what in the hell have you done to my son, he's not been right for 6 months".  At this point I lost it.  I said to her "you want to know what's going on with your son, he cheated on me".  She went deathly quiet.  Yes he cheated on me, just like the other three partners he has had that she didn't approve of.  And she has never told him that he is 🤕 Ng people!  She did tell me once that I was her "second favourite".  She is so nasty.  She lies and guilt trips my husband with money.  He has broken contact with her recently but she still gets at her m through his s brother.  The brother isn't able to see that he is enabling her.  I feel like it's only a matter of time until she comes up with another false story to come between us.  I don't like having to parent my husband because she has failed miserably.  This is a woman who wasn't happy with just a husband, she has two men in her life and they have both now passed.  I watched her push a man's son out if the way whilst he was taking his last breath.  Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

[Croix]

Dear Jo905~

Welcome here to the Forum. I"m glad you came as your story reminds me of my situation years ago. I'm sorry you are in these circumstances, and also for the death of your first husband and your second being unfaithful. It makes life and people seem less permanent in some ways (I hope htat makes sense)

The most hopeful thing in your post was when you said "He has broken contact with her recently". I certainly hope he keeps that up, you do have to always come first for him if things are to work out well.

Some mothers are so completely self-centered they see everyone around them as their 'property' and a son is no exception. So by marrying you are 'stealing her property'. This is a terrible attitude. She should be encouraging you and being grateful you are making your husband, her son, happy.

Sadly I doubt htat will ever happen no matter how hard you might try and I'd expect from my own experience matters will not realy improve with her. In my own case when I chose to marry this went against my parent's wishes and I was permanently disinherited.

I am sure whoever I'd chosen would not have been satisfactory in their eyes, I'd been regarded as an extension of themselves, not a person in my own right, and as I then realized, sadly they were incapable of love.

I'm glad to say I had very many happy years with my chosen (and no parents) and I hope you have the same.

Croix