Until last year my partners adult children were polite, kept me at arms length and let me know my place (or lack of it). I was saddened by this and really wanted to be part of the family. Three years ago two of them had babies, I was over the moon and just adored spending time with the little ones and it seemed they with me. Despite some other obvious snubs, I hoped this was my way to fit into the family. About a year ago I was told that the grandparent name the babies had been calling me was inappropriate and no longer to be used, I am not biologically related. I was devastated. I was very ill at the time and couldn't manage a face to face conversation apart from the initial one. I, very carefully with my partners knowledge tried by email, writing to all four parents to explain why the grandparent name was important to me. In return I received a hurtful email to go with an earlier email refusing to discuss the matter since it had been decided, neither of the two married into the family parents replied. I know that my earlier life makes it hard for me to cope with rejection. I have tried to be rationale and now my anti-depression medication dose is very high.
There is no way I would say anything to stop communication / visits between my partner and his family. He sees them reasonably regularly, which I find hard. Its like I don't exist. I could go along, but don't because I can't cope with the rejection, or disingenuous behaviour. I have some chronic health issues that stress seems to flareup. I miss the little ones. My partner is unhappy with the situation but loves and is very close to his family and won't rock that boat. My partner gets angry when the subject is mentioned and can't stand to have his children criticised.
I'm not sure my relationship is going to survive. I can see we are becoming more distant and don't know how to fix it.
