my mum is too overbearing

[Pizza-Sapion]

Hi thank you for reading this 🙂

so most of my life I've been coddled because I'm the first born, I had to go through the worst of it and now I'm lashing out because of the standards my mum has set for me, she tells all these stories about her brothers and gives warnings on skipping school (she takes this a little too far such as if I were sick I would still need to go.) this isn't a good thing because I am not vaccinated because she read a "news" article about a boy who died from a vaccine which I doubt actually happened unless he had underlying medical history. she also puts me atop of her medical pedestal because of my immune system being at the level it is at without being vaccinated. she also refuses to get me checked up on when injured an example is currently my left leg is being a little strange like not being able to run properly like it did in year 8 because of a previous accident I will not elaborate on but despite all of that she still manages to hover while also overstepping boundaries even after I tell her to stop. another thing is that whenever I do anything wrong such as skipping school to really get in a good headspace because of her constant criticism she manages to find me and scream at some friends who found me in the horrible spiral I was going through. (I'm 15 by the way and yes I know I need to be 18 but I was desperate for advice at this point) 

does anyone have suggestions on what I should do about all of this? 

[David35]

It certainly sounds tough It's important to set boundaries but this can be easier said than done sometimes. After I  had a serious accident, my mother became overprotective like this. They are so scared of losing you because you mean so much to them, that they forget to let you breathe, to live. Sounds like a problem more on her side of the fence rather than yours. Some parents can't distinguish between worrying and caring.

You somehow need to build trust in her that you can do your own thing and be responsible, without her checking up on you all the time. But you can't have that trust without her letting you go. It's made worse for parents who are very family oriented. Maybe try explaining that part of growing as a person is making your own decisions. It's not about saving you from falling over. Being a parent is about picking you up after you have fallen over. Because you will inevitably fall over in life. That's part of growing up.

[tranzcrybe]

So many expectations placed on first born child, you being the guinea pig to develop those parenting skills and all.
What worked for the past 14 years will require patience from you to re educate parents - gently and showing compassion for what they don't see.
Some key attributes for your success will be cooperation, negotiation, and compromise; don't expect an instant transformation though, these are skills you will need to develop!