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My friend told others about my mental health problems

T67
Community Member
So I have recently started to see someone about my mild depression and anxiety. I spoke to a close friend who I thought would understand as she also has mental health issues . I found out today that she has told 3 other friends without my consent. This is all new to me and I'm not ready to tell everyone. I feel sick . What do I do here ?
6 Replies 6

Summer Rose
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi T67

Welcome to the bb forum. You have arrived at a place of kindness and non-judgemental support.

I am very sorry to learn that you are feeling unwell. But I think it's fantastic that you are seeking professional help. Depression and anxiety are common conditions and with the right treatment most people recover. Hang in there. Life will get better.

I have lived your experience of friendship betrayal. It's a terrible kick in the guts. What you do now is learn from the experience.

Only disclose to people you can really trust and even then accept there is some risk. People talk.

It could be that your friend was genuinely concerned about you and didn't realise how upset you would be. I would talk to your friend and ask her to stop talking about you. Then I think I would stop sharing information with her.

If other people approach you and you don't want to talk about it, just be honest and tell them so. Ask them to please respect your privacy. They will likely move on. Something else will happen that's more interesting to gossip about.

It will be okay. Just breath and remember you have done nothing wrong. It's not a crime to be sick and it's nobody's business but yours.

Kind thoughts to you

Alexlisa
Community Member

Hello T67.

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. I know it can make you feel like you don't know who to trust, which is made even more difficult because you are feeling unwell and need support, not more anxiety. I have been in your position before. When I was younger I reached out to a friend and that person told others who I didn't want to know.

I've struggled with mental illness for a long time and I still get nervous about who I can trust and how much I want to share. Often that has meant me shutting out most people in my life and not having any friends at all because I'm so protective. I've been trying to work on why it makes me so anxious to share this part of me and I think it comes back to that stigma that we are raised with that mental illness is a taboo subject. I'm working to overcome this so I don't feel that fear to share so much. But it's hard!

Depression and anxiety are very common and Summer Rose is right, maybe you're friend didn't realise how much her sharing would upset you. Because (as you mention she has her own mental health issues) maybe it would not have been something that bothered her. What ever is the case, your friend should have talked to you about it first. It's up to you who you share/don't share with. And maybe it will get easier to share over time, but it is your choice.

Take care,

AlexLisa x

T67
Community Member
Thank You for your response. The other issue with this person is since I have told her she has been bombarding me with texts ( never a phone call or a in person visit ) as to why I should get medication immediately. The other issue is at other times when I have told her she has upset me she will bring up something from years ago which just adds to my stress levels.

T67
Community Member
Thank You. I think I will not share anything too personal with this friend again. It feels horrible .

Tess2
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
What an awful thing to do to a friend. I would consider talking directly to her and also blocking her number to stop receiving these texts. This is your provate business and your confidence should have been respected. Even if what she is doing is coming from concern for you, she needs to know that it is not the way to go about i

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

T67

welcome to the forums. Summer rose, Alexlisa and tess2have written supportive replies.

It is awful to feel betrayed by a friend when you trusted them. Did you ask her not to tell anyone or did you assumes she would know not to without your consent,

I was once told a friend something very private and she told someone else ,She said she did not know she could not tel others,. I said it was private but she did not think that meant don’t tell others, !

I have learnt to spell things out or mostly not to tell anyone .

Thanks for sharing your story as I am sure many reading your post can relate to it.

Quirky