I have been separated from my husband for nearly 4 years. During this time he has remained close to my family. We were together over 15 years and as far as separations go, we had an amicable spit. We co parent very well and generally there are no issues between us. I do not have an issue with him remaining in my families life. Essentially we split, they didn't.
My issues are, my family have made no effort to accept my partner. We have been together for 2 years so he's not a new fixture. They are inviting my ex on family camping trips (only my family is going and my ex's partner who they have welcomed with opened arms), dinners and general gatherings. Over the last year I have received minimal invites and the ones I had been invited to, they invited my ex as well. Which he attended and I made no issue from that. I am not a terrible person and I have tried my absolute hardest to be ok with this fact but after they tried to hide a camping trip from me after I had discussed with them I feel excluded and shunned from my family while my ex enjoys their company they still tried to hide it I advised them I will not be attending Christmas with them. I might have reacted on emotion as I am very upset but I honestly feel they would just prefer it if I didn't go so he could and it would be less awkward. I have received a message from my sisters husband advising me that if I won't be joining them for Christmas over something as petty as a camping trip, not to worry about his gift (we draw names and buy for 1 family member to keep cost down) and I have really upset my sister. I have explained how I feel excluded yet they continue to "hang out" with my ex and exclude me. I was VERY close with my family and I am devastated this is happening. They feel I am controlling who they can and can't associate with. I have never asked them to cut ties and won't but I just want them to realise how much it hurts when they exclude me in preference of him. He can join in on my invites, why can't they extend the same invite for me. My partner feels this is because my family don't like him. He distances himself at gatherings and this too creates tension as they feel he's not making an effort. I don't know if I am over reacting. It is starting to create a family divide as half can see it from my perspective and the other think I am being controlling and it is pushing them further. Half can see my point are being very supportive and this is pushing the other half further and from them also
