Mother in law issues damaging marriage
How do I deal with my mother in law who is highly anxious, incapable of communication and only seems to have issues with me since having our child 19 months ago! I feel like I'm competing with her for my husbands attention!! I'm not sure if my husband is enjoying all this attention from his mother since it was lacking when he was younger??
Hi Bella_81. I'm sorry, but not too surprised about what's happened. Staying with his m/d could be difficult for him, but, as you say, he has to realize where his loyalties lie. You have bent over backwards, taken a lot of rubbish from his parents, without his support. I think the counselling is a great step for you, if he decides to go, that would be fantastic, but I'm not holding my breath on that. I know how scary it is for you, but remaining in a toxic relationship is more unhealthy. If he wants to see his daughter, I would make sure he does not allow his parents too much time with her. I realize that's overstepping the mark from me, but I've seen a lot of damage done to kids visiting g'parents of the non-custodial parent. Try now to get past the anger, hurt, and betrayal you're no doubt feeling, with counselling that will happen too. His m/d obviously have an incredible emotional hold over him if he hasn't even enquired about his daughter. As you say, the ball's in his court now. If he wants to see you or child, it's alone or no deal. You have a good support team, plus BB is here anytime. Take things carefully, one step at a time.
Best wishes for you and child.
Bella, I really feel for you. I have had MIL issues for a very long time. Problems became alot worse when I fell pregnant with my first child and she hasn't stopped causing problems only becoming worse. During my second pregnancy MIL manipulated husband against me & turned my husband against my family while I was in & out of hospital with hyperemesis. She tried to take over my family & started manipulating my 4 year old to listen to her & not mummy because mummy is wrong. She also told my daughter who suffers from anaphylaxis to eat nuts which could kill her. My husband made excuses for his mother. MIL has done alot of bad things to me & to my daughter who is traumatised & seeing a psychologist. My biggest suggestion is to speak with husband & keep a record of what mother in law is doing. If you do say something to MIL say it infront of husband or have a witness. My MIL would manipulate my words & lie & cause even more problems for me & our marriage. My MIL has "ended my marriage" many times. I always thought FIL would stand up & say something but turned a blind eye. My daughters psychologist told me FIL & husband see MIL with rose coloured glasses & dont see what outsiders see because they have lived with her their whole life & think her behaviour is normal. You need to go with your instinct but also be smart. I forgave MIL many times she has now pushed me to my limit. Good luck Bella! Go with your instincts.. protect yourself & protect your baby..