Messed up a friendship few months back after mixing alcohol and anti depressants, now feel isolated from friend group.
I’m OCD and I started taking anti depressants ~6 months ago for it. Drank a lot one night and ruined my life at the time. Ruined a friendship, had to quit my job because of stuff I said. Now all my friends are going to this other friends birthday tomorrow and I feel isolated because I was not invited, even though they say they forgive me for what I said.
I just hate my life rn. Have for the last ~10 years. Have felt super lonely for basically that entire time, like I have no one to talk to. No one who understands me or wants to be with me. I know this is a lot of self pity rn but I just feel like crap.
Wellcome to our forums!
Im sorry you are feeling this way.
I understand OCD, I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD.
Have you done any therapy for your OCD?
OK so you said a few things…… please try to forgive yourself and let it go.
Move forward from it…
Im sorry you weren’t invited to the birthday but this is a reflection of the person who didn’t invite you……. It’s not you.
True friends would want to forgive and move forward with you……….
I understand OCD can be really hard to deal with……… I’m here if you want to talk about it and how it affects your life.
I seeked professional help for my OCD and I’ve now bee free of it for over 4.5 years…
Here to chat
I'm sorry you are feeling this way right now. It is awful to feel lonely. We all do and say things that we wish we hadn't and sometimes lose friendships and people because of it. To your credit, you have apologised and expressed remorse, and maybe your friend and friendship group just need a little more time to get over it.
While you are waiting for your friends to get over it, maybe think about your interests and join some groups where people have similar interests so that you can meet people similar to yourself. Look for a new job that is interesting to you. Feeling like no one understands you or wants to be with you is tough and feeling this way for such a long time would be hard. Joining these groups and finding a new job might help in 'kick-starting' a whole new group of friends overtime. You never know.
I hope things work out between you and your friends. If they don't, potentially you'll have a new group who share your interests. If they do, then you've just broadened your friendship base and who knows if that special person is there waiting for you.