Marriage over after 26 years.

[Arnya]

This is the hardest thing I've had to do ever. I made an appointment to see a health professional. My husband and I have not spoken a word to each other in 2 months. We live in separate parts of the house. I'm still here because I have my grandson here as well and just cannot afford to move out. It's horrendous to say the least! It's like now I'm not living, I'm existing. I sleep a lot when I'm not working. Trying to keep it together for the sake of my grandson. Trying to find work is impossibly frustrating. It's just getting worse day by day. He is a narcissist and I cannot believe I never really noticed it. So gradual. So here I am not sure what to do.

[Nothappyuni]

Hi Arnya,

Sorry I missed your post yesterday, I was at work, then I went to the park to read a book. I had to get out of the house, it is sending me insane, literally!

Please don't feel useless. I know that feeling too well. Centre link were great with me, the problem was my 'partner' told me she wouldn't agree to classing us as "separate under one roof", she said I am just a stupid person and should get over it, as she has.

Years of putdowns have rocked my self confidence, that was the whole idea I now realise.

And now that I want to leave, they are more frequent than ever before; I am served hot putdown for breakfast lunch and tea.

That is my rant anyway, I hope today finds you in a better place Arnya.

I have a lot on my plate, BUT through the site/and the air, I am sending you positive vibes and thoughts for your happiness.

[Arnya]

Well I filled out the forms for Newstart. I've been given forms to fill out for being separated under the one roof. I know he is not going to fill his out. I feel like I'm back to step 1. Getting to the point I can't pay my bills with very limited income. It's just getting too hard.

[Arnya]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. What happens if the partner won't fill out their part of the separation for living under one roof? Mine won't even acknowledge I exist let alone help me out with this.

[Nothappyuni]

Hi Arnya,

Please read "GoodWitch - I want to separate from my husband but don't know how".

If you have already read it I apologise, if you haven't I highly recommend it. It is a life changer.

It is a long thread, a journey for a number of people. It is in this family and separation section.

(The forms don't need a second signature, go into Centrelink and tell them at the counter you want to speak to a social worker. I was shocked at how genuine the help was. They will provide you with everything you need to know). BUT, read that thread (if you haven't), it is astounding.

[Arnya]

I just read that post, thank you. I must say I am surprised at the number of folk that thinks she should stay.

I'm having another crap day so I'll see how I feel tomorrow. If you read my reply on that thread you'll see what I mean.