Marriage counselor advice

[ForMeToKnow]

I went through a rough patch with wife lots of yelling at the same time developed an unwanted crush on a colleague.

Nothing at all eventuated not even mild office flirting as I am the boss it would not be appropriate and would be immediately noticed.

I was having trouble though so I wrote an SOS email to a friend about how I found it tricky to work with this person.

In the meantime things got much better at home and we agreed to go to counseling but didn't book it. Two days back my wife's phone ran out of battery and she used my phone and found the SOS email

So things are not so good at home now my poor wife has a broken heart and we have booked marriage counseling.

Any tips on how to get the best out of marriage counseling as the guy in the wrong?

FMTK

[BballJ]

Hi ForMeToKnow,

I can only speak as someone who has done general counselling and not marriage counselling but I think the first step is just being open and speaking about everything and not leaving anything out. The more you hide and keep inside of you, the harder it is for the counsellor to work on you both and give advice. I know it will hurt you wife for you to openly admit it about the unwanted crush but at the same time, being honest and upfront and I think owning the mistake is key. It is good the marriage counselling is booked to be honest.

My best for you and your wife,

Jay

[white knight]

Hi FMTK, welcome

Yeh, cant disagree with Jay

Crossroads iften appear in relationships. If you are honest and get through it one day you'll both realise such challenges strengthened your marriage.

I think you are lucky you didnt go further. However your wife reserves the right to end it if trust remains an issue. Give her that right but also give her every reason to keep you.

TonyWK

[geoff]

hello FMTK, I have to jump on board with Jay and Tony here, everything needs to be spoken about otherwise the marriage counselling will be a waste of time.
When my wife (ex) and I had marriage counselling all the blame was put on me, my drinking and my depression, fair enough I had to cop that on the chin, but I can't answer why I was still depressed until the second session where my wife mentioned that I had been assaulted, resulting in having a blood clot on the brain and developing epilepsy then the tables turned, she didn't like that so there were no more sessions.
Your wife is going to be concerned about the SOS email and be asking if this has happened before, it's a hard question but you must be honest, no different than your wife, all of this has to be put on the table so that your marriage can find it's feet once again.
This can happen, but at the moment it maybe a rocky rock road but hold on tight. Geoff.

[ForMeToKnow]

As an update for those considering marriage counselling. We found it very very useful definitely helped us deal with something we never dealt with before.

I found it quite expensive though perhaps due to being in Eastern Suburbs there is a premium. We might need a financial counsellor to get over the cost of the marriage counsellor though.

FMTK

[white knight]

Hi FMTK

Great news.

Two people alone cant possibly have all the answers to conflict.

Terrific.

Tony WK