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Lost

Tortellini
Community Member
My partner and I have ben together for almost 6 years. I'm 24 now, so we did a lot of growing together. It wasn't always perfect (I'm not that idealistic), but we're both very kind, empathetic people and we're not fighters so nothing ever went too wrong. Since we did so much of our growing up together, we developed into very similar people. We're not the same person by any means, but we have much the same morals and temperaments. He made me a better person and I made him a better person. I never wasted a day because he wanted me try things like surfing and diving. He didn't waste his potential because he followed me to bigger and better things.

Recently, I had a bit of a panic because I wasn't sure we wanted the same things. I felt all this pressure about marriage and babies from other people (not him), but then after talking to him about it and thinking about it - I felt safe and so hopeful for a future that I hadn't ever really thought much about. I was always one of those independent girls who didn't define myself by my relationship, but I realised that I didn't need to be independent all the time.

Then yesterday we broke up. We studied very different things, you see. Not every job can take you anywhere. I thought we could do a long-distance relationship for awhile (like we did so many years ago) until I had enough credentials to work in more flexible locations. But we both knew that it was a long shot that I'd ever be able to move closer to him, or closer to somewhere that he could also find work.

So yesterday he told me he couldn't do it. He told me that after living with each other for the past 2 years (the best time of our lives for both of us), he couldn't put us through the misery of trying to be happy together while apart indefinitely. And the worst part is that it makes sense. I couldn't argue with him, because what on Earth am I supposed to do? I can't exactly choose to go a lifetime without working.

We've talked on the phone twice since it happened (long conversations) and we've been texting non-stop. We're essentially leaning on each other to get through this. He's always been better at making friends than me, and I'm not good at talking to just anyone. He's my best friend. So here I am, in a new city where I know no one, having just broken up with the person I love most in the world and lost a future I only recently realised I wanted. I'm so lost. And alone. And I don't know what to do.
1 Reply 1

startingnew
Community Member

hello and welcome

im sorry your going through so much, i can imagine how hard it would be for you. i dont have much relationship advice im afraid but im hoping others will.

whats your plan for being in the new city- will you be finding a job, studing? those will both provide opportunities to meet other people as well as joining in with interest groups...or perhaps just exploring the new city for a little bit would be beneficial..