Lost and lonely
First time poster here,
I am a mother of 3 kids, 2 grown boys and a daughter aged 8.
Over the years life has, to say the least, been less that kind and I have found myself very lost and lonely. I have recently moved to a new town and don't really know anyone. All I seem to do is work and come home. I don't have any friends to go out with and I have no hobbies and no life outside of work. How does one drag their butt of of this funk?
I must say drinking has not helped. It has just given me something else to fix.
Hi Wiggles, lovely to hear from you and there are some questions I'd like to ask you, but I need to take it slowly, if that's alright.
If you've moved because of a specific reason and please only answer if you want to.
Feeling lonely could be from a lack of being loved, now and definitely in the past, and whether your grown kids keep in touch with you.
It takes a great deal of courage to come to a popular depression site and talk about yourself to people you don't know, but want to applaud you for doing so.
Yes we moved as there were a lot of bad memories there.
Its all a really long story, but short version is,
My family have always been unkind to me for as long as I can remember.
I met my husband and over time he had mental health issues and I struggled to cope with my family and his issues as well so I detached myself from my family (was a good thing) my family did not like my husband
My husband eventually died by suicide and I turned back to my family for support which was not forthcoming they just made it harder to cope. I detected myself again and we moved away.
My sons are in contact with us.
I am just trying to find ways to get out of this funk now. What to do and where to go to change this situation as its not a nice spot to be sitting in
Hello Wiggles, we really appreciate you getting back to us and take as much time as you want, I realise it's different now because you have to pack up everything, find a doctor, dentist, favourite grocery store and worst of all, change all the addresses for mail to arrive, it's something I have never wanted to do, unfortunately, have.
I am deeply sorry about your husband and understand what this can do to a family, although I don't know anything about this and whether you want to now or wait, the decision is entirely yours.
If this might make you more comfortable, I'll tell you in a sentence about me.
I tried to end my own life myself and I am now divorced after a long marriage with 2 grown up sons.
You have my sympathy, moving away and trying to find new friends and no support from your family, it can be very difficult, but I hope others will join in as well.
If I don't reply to you today is only because I'm near the computer, but will definitely respond tomorrow, but you can type out a reply and add or edit it at your will.
Please take care.
I am so glad you are still here to chat to. Thank you for sharing. Although I have never been in the position of wanting to end my struggles, I really do understand why people do. Shit gets hard when you are constantly fighting yourself. High 5's to you 🙂
My husband really struggled for the last 7 years of his life. He had PTSD severe depression and severe anxiety. He had 8 or 10 attempts that I can remember. There was a lot of damage done along the way as I am sure you understand. That time is rather blurry now. I just try to remember the good bits now. It’s all too easy to feel sorry for oneself when you are already in a funk. That achieves nothing, especially when I have my daughter to take care of.
I used to be quite outgoing and bubbly but of late I just seem to be stagnant. I do not believe that I am depressed as such or anxious but boy some days have me thinking otherwise. I have often sat here thinking about what I used to do that I enjoyed or excited me and there is nothing jumping out at me.
I have found a Meet Up app so am looking into that and see what’s out there to do. I am sure something will be.
I'm fairly new here, but your statement "I have often sat here thinking about what I used to do that I enjoyed or excited me and there is nothing jumping out at me."
I seriously just went through that statement almost word for word with my physiologist (Going to a physiologist is very new to me, my GP just got me booked in)
I used to be a very happy, social person, and I moved away to the country and I'm not getting the social engagement I used to have or the sports etc. I said I feel like I lost my happiness my mojo, and my physiologist made me step through all the things that used to make me happy, and I can't seem to work out why what used to make me happy doesn't anymore.
So I have been trying out new things every week - YOU are doing great with signing up for a Meet Up, brilliant idea.
I literally googled hobbies - I felt a little silly, but it gave me lots of ideas to try, we both obviously need to find our spark again and what worked before may not anymore, I am learning to accept that and try new things. Many of them I don't like, so they gets dumped pretty quickly LOL but I'm hoping something will peak my interest.
I know I haven't been much help to you during this difficult time, but my post is more about, I totally understand your statement.
Thanks for your reply.
I am off to the Dr's tomorrow to discuss seeing a psychologist. I am really hoping that I find a really good one straight up. I know how hard it can be to find one that suits.
Last time I went just was after my husband died and I couldn't seem to find one who didn't keep focusing on that. I wanted to find out who I was again but just couldn't break through that grief train of treatment.
I also struggle with being/feeling vulnerable too so a good one will be awesome.
I too googled hobbies lol there was a few that looked good so am going to try them. One was Dragon Boating. All a bit physical but can only be a good thing,, right? lol