Loss of relationship, job, moved out of ex’s house, loss of animal

[Fka]

So a few months ago I ended things with my abusive ex and I moved out and went back to my parents, he kept my dog and I lost my job due to my mental health causing me to not put in as much effort. I’ve been at a loss since then, my ex was a horrible and cruel person and our relationship was turbulent everyday ended in tears however the first year and a half was perfect and I believed him to be the one. We were going to get married etc. I understand he was not right for me which is why I ended it however it hurt so much to have put so much effort and love into someone my whole heart and to end up with nothing. I’ve lost all interest in my hobbies, I can’t find joy or fun in anything I sit in my room all day everyday I have an incredibly high amount of anxiety, I never really had any friends or much family support so it’s really just me in this, I’ve had issues finding a job as I’m disabled and been rejected from everywhere. I’m at a complete loss and if it doesn’t change I don’t know what will happen. Each day feels harder than the next 

[R.Penn]

Hey Fka,

It is great you reached out here on the forums, I have posted here a few times as I also don’t have friends or family support. It sounds like you are experiencing the aftermath of the breakup and good on you for getting out of that awful situation. Future you will thank you for your efforts. I was also in a toxic situationship for 2 years and it ruined my life. But I had a therapist that was helping me move on and out of that situation. It sounds like you are struggling and without support can be so hard, have you tried calling or texting Beyond Blues help line or lifeline ? Perhaps if you have a GP you can go in and explain to them and there is a mental health care plan you can get that can help find an affordable psychologist or counsellor. I see a psychologist fortnightly which helps me navigate life without parental support. I just want you to know you are not alone here in this community, please reach out as hard as it can be in those moments of darkness and isolation. I also have trouble finding joy at the moment, I sit in my room on my ipad a lot and wonder what I am doing with my life. But the good thing about life is things are always bound to change in a way. I am also Autistic ADHD and understand having a disability is super rough and the misunderstandings and misconceptions can really get to your headspace. Do you like to garden? I was on a medication for anxiety and ocd for a year which helped my anxiety too. I hope this is somewhat helpful for you to read and losing your dog also in the process must be heartbreaking. Is there someway you could negotiate co parenting? Or maybe you could adopt a new dog from Pet rescue?

[Fka]

Thankyou that is really helpful to hear I’m not alone and you understand 

I do think I need to see a therapist as I feel at a loss

i haven’t tried gardening before 

were there other things that helped you move on after your breakup? I have a lot of nightmares about some of the things that happened

unfortunately since the breakup he rehomed my dog and I was going to take her once I had a place of my own and they won’t give her back either so I was really gutted she was my whole world and I don’t feel another dog could fix the hole she left all I want is her

thankyou for your kind words 

[R.Penn]

That’s really awful about your dog, and it just adds to your grief. I reached out to lifeline, I also was lucky to have a couple of friends to call on when I was lost in the dark. We no longer talk but there was one friend that really helped me see my worth again. You never deserved what happened to you, lots of sharks out there that prey on disabled people too. Could you ask one of your parents to take you to a local GP you are comfortable with and ask for the mental health care plan? It really helped me, I am still seeing a therapist and grief is not linear, I understand the PTSD dreams too. They take a lot of wind out of your sails so to speak. I also wrote future me a letter which I would refer back to whenever I was feeling weaker and wanted to contact my ex who would have tormented me more if I had gone back. It’s really tough I hear you and I am here if you want to chat more too. I also moved to a different city location so she couldn’t stalk me anymore. Gardening is really grounding, if you can access Bunnings just wander around and look at the plants you don’t even have to buy anything. Or is there something else that you used to like to do before you got with your ex? I don’t know what disability you have so please let me know if I am being insensitive as I understand limitations with gardening and movement. I used to be a support worker, I liked to help people a lot and found a lot of connection in our community. Even if you can give lifeline a call or chat, I chatted to them last night and it gives you a bit of connection and reassurance. 🙂 you got this