Looking for people to talk to/friends - Post separation

[LightningLuke]

Hi All,

totally new to this kind of stuff. But recently over the last few months I've been going through a separation from my husband. I found out he was cheating on me at the start of the year. During the start of it all, I completely ignored him and tried as hard as I could to block him out. Recently he has moved out and we were fighting alot. He then expressed to me he wanted to be with me but in a open relationship - and that is the only way we would be together. I am struggling with this because we have been married for 4 years, together 11 years. I am struggling so much because I want to forgive him and work through things but currently he isn't even remotely interested in me (or so it seems) I also have to see him daily at work which makes things extremely difficult.

Just needing some advice/friends as I can't seem to get him off my mind at any time of the day!

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

In such a tricky situation you might need to make some radical changes. Changing your job would be on the top of my list, its just not workable him being where you work.

The rest is fairly simple- if you dont want an open relationship (I assume that means living together but having extra sexual partners) then why would you consider it? I do know why, because you loved this man and all your dreams over 11 years were in him. But things have changed, for whatever reason he has set the bar, decided his friendship with you was great but wants more, variety, whatever. In my own mind many people would find that unacceptable.

So, be yourself, wipe off the last 11 years and remap your future. As for him being on your mind, keep busy, take up hobbies, sport, friends, anything to make yourself more exhausted... then he'll be a distant figure. The world can be your oyster. You deserve better.

TonyWK