Loneliness... What choices are there?

[demonblaster]

Loneliness is one of the cruelest underestimated places to be in life. Most of us need people.

This is all too common & wayyyy too many suffer this.

What's out there to help people?

Forums is a good place for many that are shy or depressed and not comfortable face on.

Excercising outside, amongst people, eye contact often connects a smile with people. Lifting

Here & assuming other places in Oz there's through community centres volunteers that visit, take shopping, talk, listen etc or phone calls weekly. (GP would know more)

Public transporting, around people, even if not engaged in convo, still amongst it

Interested hearing suggests

This shouldn't be

[Guest_1584]

Here'sonefor ya db. when l got divorced l thought of starting a singles club haha.

l even starte dthe ads ,but right when l did l met gf so it went back on the shelf.

[demonblaster]

There ya go Random what about getting it off the shelf 👍👌

Good onya bud great you started doing it before, thats what I'm saying we dont know whats ahead aye, you met chooky

Coffee meetings.. gatherings

[Sad_Mushroom]

HI random,

It is like Lotto,,,,,you cannot win if you are not in it.

I too prefer to be at home and not do anything but then when I go out I see so much, trees, ducks on the river, and heaps of bs that I would rather forget,,,,,but that is life.

You do not have to have meetings with others,,,,,,go for a walk by the river, you know something that is needed but lost,,,,,,take photo's of a nearby cemetery and post to the various sites (so that family a million miles a way can see) LOTS you can do alone.

SM

ps. I would love cemetery pics

[demonblaster]

It's surprising when you do meet people and where, doesn't have to be an outing as such, as Mushy just said to Random here things can be done alone eg: walking, looking at nature, having a seat somewhere and someone else may sit down and start chatting.

I think it's easier to meet people for those that are shy or anxious in smaller groups or just one other person.

Also being in shopping centres sitting and people watching is company without having to talk necessarily but same as above sometimes someone sits down and it may only be Hi but beats no people contact.

In shops or centres but I'm an extrovert moreso so easier for me but often I get quite stimulated just commenting to someone about a whatever in the shop. We don't have to initiate, often other people might utter a sentence.

Mushy what I don't like about cemetries is the grey dark dull tombstones, I hope to see the day that they're brightened up with nice art or colour, it's sad enough aye.

[nickypee]

Yes this is so true. I really struggle with loneliness and depression. I have lots of friends and a supportive family but everyone's too busy with their own lives to catch up with me on a regular basis. I've been single most my life and that makes me feel quite worthless and lonely. I live on my own but luckily I have two beautiful dogs that have pulled me out of some really dark times.

I've recently joined some single groups on  Meet Up which has been fun. Haven't met anyone but I've made a really nice female friend out of it. That was totally unexpected. It's nice to hang around single people more as I'm used to just hanging out with married couples who have never really been single. It's just nice to hang around with people that understand how lonely it can be and are just more on the same wave length as you.

[demonblaster]

Hi Nicky welcome, good to hear from you & thanks for saying about a place you've been and found a good friend, yeah unexpected, one of the great things about life for the positives anyway is we never know what's ahead and who knows who else you'll meet.

Yeah I see friends at times and stay with them and family, but that's right people are busy with their lives which is fair enough, I'm lucky that they make time for me but I'm a bit on the slacko side of making more plans with them, being broke can be a hold back although there are things we can do that don't cost but...
Did you find meet up on the net? or is it in phone books too?

Thanks for input again 🙂 you're welcome anytime love to hear how it goes

I mentioned some may be interested in starting up groups, if not could approach community centres cause no cost that way and ask if they could start a group up, they'd have contacts.

"Meet up"........ ( Highlighting for when I update sometime in the next millenium 😄 )

"You do not have to have meetings with others,,,,,,go for a walk by the river"

"Take photo's of a nearby cemetery and post to the various sites (so that family a million miles a way can see) "

Coffee meetings.. gatherings

"Starting a singles club"

Card nights at some clubs

Gardening/ fishing clubs/meetings

Knitting groups so imagine could be other activities too at libraries

Volunteers can also ring regularly for a chat (community centres or ? GP would probs have info

[startingnew]

hey all

lonliness is really a horrible feeling to have and having limited social skills, social groups in your area it can make things even harder.

i like all the suggestions that have already been told here. DB asked me to come and post something in regards to social groups.

i used FB as an aid and took the time to look up gorups in my area, take a look at the community centres, and even advertise a post on a few social threads like for example 'melbourne (or whichever suburb) discussions' and asked if anyone knew of any groups. maybe if theres none near you, you could start your own and advertise through fb or put up a few flyers aorund the neighbour hood. this doesnt just have to be a social group it could be an interest group.

ith pushing the comfort zone- theres 2 ways- either jump in the deep end and just go for it or set some mini goals for yourself and work up to the bigger things. start with becoming familar with your srrounding, take walks, say hi to people and just get a general feel and then when yoru comfortabel doing that go to a social group. sometimes theres short term or day groups that you could try out too.

[demonblaster]

'' I used FB to look up groups in my area, advertise a post on a few social threads like for example 'melbourne (or whichever suburb) discussions' and asked if anyone knew of any groups. maybe if theres none near you, you could start your own and advertise through fb or put up a few flyers aorund the neighbour hood. this doesnt just have to be a social group it could be an interest group.

pushing the comfort zone- theres 2 ways- either jump in the deep end and just go for it or set some mini goals for yourself and work up to the bigger things. take walks, say hi to people then when you comfortable doing that go to a social group. sometimes theres short term or day groups that you could try out too."

Thanks Starts, for those not familiar with fb (facebook) would they do a search for social groups to start, I'm on fb and have been in groups but got onto them through group advertising. R) hand column
Most people that aren't on fb and want to join, have someone young around to show them or there's classes that do computer courses and tutors I've seen advertised in classifieds.

There's a technology thread here for anyone with techy questions. (search bar on top R)

For dog lovers and those not up to too much convo with people, could volunteer dog walking or paid work. If you're not a scaredy like me. That way some people have a quick chat or a hi and outta house for a bit and the unconditional love from dogs.

[Ggrand]

Hello all,

My description of depression/anxiety/loneliness. All rolled up in one bundle.

Waking up in the morning (if you sleep) to an empty house, no one to say good morning to except yourself, you make a cuppa sit down by yourself tv on for voices and drink your tea, look around needs a clean, What for, there's only me here so who cares, I don't. starting to think negatives now, oops gotta try distraction, So I clean, triggers are happening, put ear plugs in then try, nope no good, but I finish it. now what? Ahh well done, house is clean, lunchtime, couldn't be bothered with it, afternoon, what to do, by now I'm so down I decide to play games on the iPad, while playing them my thoughts are running riot, is this it . Is this what my life is now its been like this now for over 4 years, crying again, sick of this, dinner time, oh I have to eat something, maybe a couple of toast, why cook, who for. Me? No couldn't be bothered. nights here now, Tv is still on. I hate tv. but the voices are there. I go outside now because it's dark, I sit there most of the night, I hate bed, really ate it, because it reminds me tomorrow will only be the same.

When i go out to work not much difference, a few girls at work I talk to but not connected to. Come home, house is empty no one to ask how was your day, or talk over what happened, how hot it is, or ask if your ok, or to give you a friendly hug or talk to you. or your children live hundreds of kilometres away and don't ring you or see you.

You can't go out, anxiety stops you. Nothing in these little country towns except for pubs, I don't do pubs, nearest social club is 160 kilometre round trip, anxiety again stops me.....Sell up and move, where to? to sell this house wouldn't even buy me a front door of a house in a larger town, or closer to my kids, why? they don't care, they don't even ring me.

I am sorry if I upset anyone, but this is loneliness...One of the worse feeling you can feel. Ok I lost me. I vented, I raged. I let it out. ..I'm okay.

Please no replies.

Grandy.

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂 Never alone here

Swim, can be done alone but being around people. At times if individuals are able to, conversations or small talk strikes up as personally if I swim alone I hook close to others if at a beach for safety reasons.

Grandy (( xx )) I know you're ok with hugs/kisses. You said no replies, fair enough but..oopsy .. I'm glad you said how it is & many wouldn't know.

I experience loneliness on a different level now at times. And have in the past been under enormous life stress for other reasons & been completely alone & on occasion in childhood (no kids around at the times)
Loneliness It's a cruel deeply painful situation to be in. You feel unloved, uncared for, unworthy of love that's mostly not how it is though, there's reasons for everything. Often as discussed here MH plays a large part towards it. The hollow emptiness eats at you. I wish I had better words but what Grandy says is how it is.

No good people should ever be alone