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living alone

Guest_1584
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

741 Replies 741

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I agree. Parting for a while due to circumstances is different. Sometimes you need the space to sort things out.

Guest_1584
Community Member

Thanks for that cm yeah l dunno. Tbh , feel like l'm being taken advantage of a bit lately, as if l'll just wait round forever while she just goes on all over the place calling her latest shots. But yaknow, 15mths of her court stuff, we had a plan, enough already.

l just feel like l need to take back control of at least my life it can't go on being all just about her end. l have a plan now l've been thinking about a few wks now encase and it's just time l got on with things and life for now and start thinking about myself again for now.

Guest_1584
Community Member

Hmm.

We talked Sunday and l said l think it's best we break while she sorts herself and stuff out. l can't just hang around in limbo forever, l have to get on with life seems as we can't find a solution .

She understood she knows how bad it's been and on me too and wants me to do what's right for me right now also but says she's still bogged down with so much new crap now she can't even think straight anyway. She has messaged a bit through the wk though but my God. lt's not her fault she's basically starting again now from scratch and it's especially hard with the language and never ending visa bureaucracy but man, the crap of just this wk alone is enough to do your head in and a huge reminder. l've made the right decision after being there so long. l've tried not to engage back too much and it's slowing down but it's just been a real wake up call that l just couldn't go on with this as it stands right now. lt's not gonna be easy or pleasant for sure but l just don't see a choice anymore.

rx

Guest_1584
Community Member

We agree that if she can get on top of things later on and we could come up with a housing solution, we'll see where we're at then.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi rx,

I'm sad it's come to this for you but at least she can see it too & agrees. It would be worse if she couldn't see & just wanted to continue like this.

Having said that, what will a break mean? Will it mean you just won't plan to see each other or will you not call/text as much also?

Cmf

Guest_1584
Community Member

Yeah , it really is but feelings haven't found their place just yet except on the realization for me this wk of just how long and much much of her stuff l've been dealing with. Def' a wake up call there. But yeah she has always known she's even offered at times that if l want or need to drop this she'd understand. Sometimes it's like she had no idea and l'm just of endlessly waiting around in the wind, but she does.

Tbh , nah l really need to just stop and have a proper break or split or whatever you'd call it from things and just get back onto my life again right now.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I hope the break helps you clear your mind and gain clarity. I also hope she is able to sort her stuff out ,& have some peace.

Whichever way it goes, I wish for you to he happy.

Keep posting so we k ow how you're going.

Cmf

Guest_1584
Community Member

Yeah. l had a 5hr drive today and my phone was going of all the way.

l felt bad and really guilty but l couldn't even handle scanning it until l got back late this arvo. But and l knew what it would be know what she's been dealing with this wk but it was just alllllll Sydney and problems. Thing is too , she's talking yrs ahead and l'm just thinking bloody hell , well over 3yrs l've put into this our plan was not about staying up there. if only she'd told me 3yrs ago this would be happening now after everything else l wouldn't even be here bc there'd had been no future anyway.

l mean she is still hoping l'll come stay up there if she can get organized and at least give it a go and as nice as that'd be in some ways, of course, on the other hand though l also know it's pointless me giving it a go/

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I hear you. I think if you're taking a break she needs to respect that and actually give you a break, not keep trying to contact you re things.

You've waited so long & been so patient & supportive. Time for you now & what you want.

Guest_1584
Community Member

Yeah l know how it sounds but tbh , really we've only had about 10% of our usual chatter this wk it's fading , she does know. l could be firmer but tbh it helps me to rather than just boom , cold turkey, so l let it go. Although she's hoping l might sway about moving up there to haha.

She just needed some urgent translation with some gov forms yesterday and was in a panic, couldn't understand them.

You know what really worries me though , maybe atm in her situation things get too hard there and she suggests coming back down to mine after all. l mean life would go from all those hassles to just bang, no more hassles here.l mean that was the plan, but l don't want her to go back to us and here just bc it's too hard there, it's gotta be about us.

Anywayyyy, we see.