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Is this a normal or okay situation?

Community Member

I have been struggling with this for a few years and although I’ve done a lot of work I am still unable to accept it. I am just wanting some insight from others into my situation if possible.

As a teenager I was practically groomed by a man more that 10 years older to go to live with him. I was just over the age of consent, so it was not illegal. He said he would help me get my licence and get on my feet as my family situation wasn’t good. It immediately became an abusive sexual relationship I was in for about a year which ended in pregnancy, and I left.

I applied to court for custody arrangements as I was not comfortable to negotiate with him alone. They found it was an abusive situation but not illegal, and not involving the child so co-parenting was ordered.

It has been over 5 years since I left and I am having a terrible time having to deal with this man and try to co-parent. It is distressing having contact with him. I feel as though it was very wrong what happened, and the way my child was conceived, but there is no accountability for what happened. I know it was not illegal as I was just of age of consent, but he was so much older and there is a huge power imbalance. I just can’t believe I am in this situation.

I would just like to hear other people’s insights into this situation, as I read about other people’s co-parenting but have never read about a situation similar to mine.

Thanks for any replies.

2 Replies 2


Dear Username01

We want to thank you for having the courage to post about your experience and the ongoing challenge around having to co-parent with a partner who was abusive towards you.  We are a helpful and supportive community here, and you are very welcome.

It is great to know you feel safe to be able to share your experience here and we hope that you find the support you are looking for; it might also be helpful to reach out to 1800 RESPECT which have a team of trauma specialist counsellors who specialise in domestic violence and sexual abuse; this is free to access and available 24/7; I have put the link below for you:  

1800 RESPECT Click Here

In addition to posting in the forums, we also invite you to call or chat to one of our trained mental health professionals who will also be able to listen and offer care; it’s completely confidential and available 24/7:   To call us, contact 1300 22 4636

To use webchat, Click Here 

 We are here to help and support you through this journey.  Thank you again for joining this community, we hope that you can join other conversations that resonate with you and read about other users and their journey to better mental health.  

Warm regards,  

Sophie M.  

Community Member

Thanks Sophie for the resources. I’m hoping somebody might have some insight or a similar experience to share?