Im oversharing and feeling bad afterwards

[Elizabeth Louise]

Been separated from my husband for 3 months. I'm so vulnerable right now that I'm oversharing details as to what happened with some friends and feeling horrible about it afterwards. How do I stop this? I feel I need to avoid people so  I don't fall into the same trap and oversharing things about my ex and what happened. I'm still trying to process what happened and not coping well at times as he was the one that left.

[geoff]

Hello Elizabeth, I'm sorry this is happening, but you have to remember whatever you tell your friends of anything that has happened, there is the possibility they will twist what you have told them and not the truth will be told.

The reason your husband left could be for many different reasons, some personal and some others may already know about, but unless you have a real trustworthy person you can talk to and who won't twist the words to other people then it's best to only disclose any of this to a counsellor, who will repeat what you have told them to anyone else.

Why he left may not be any fault of yours and because you are vulnerable could mean that you will want to talk to anyone, but please remember that not everyone can be trusted and some people only want to spread rumours that aren't true.

Have you been able to see your doctor, just asking.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Elizabeth Louise]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for your reply. I have a couple of counsellors that I am seeing. I havnt brought this up yet. I think when I see people next anif they question the whereabouts of my husband I'll try to keep it short and brief. Your right. I don't want it getting back to him especially since I still want to try and save my marriage. I'm not necessarily criticising him but just processing my thoughts and trying to understand what went wrong. I agree ill just do that with the counsellors.

Thanks

EL

[Juliet_84]

Hi Elizabeth Louise,

I really don’t think “oversharing” how you’re feeling and what has happened is necessarily a bad thing, I think you just need to choose carefully who these people are. As they say, only a few people truly care, the rest are just curious - and you need to be wary of these people as they may not be particularly discreet. For these people it would probably be best to prepare some generic responses that you can say. But I hope you also have a few close friends you know who you can trust and will keep what you tell them in confidence and give you good advice? Psychologists are good for that too, although sometimes the time between sessions can make it difficult to tell them alone. 

[jaz28]

Hi Elizabeth,

I am sorry you have been going through a separation. That is a very hard life change, and it is completely valid to be vulnerable and upset right now. You are just dealing with these emotions in your own way, and you might inadvertently be oversharing because you want to get these feelings off of your chest and mind. Do you feel like you need some support right now? Were your friends supportive and receptive of what you told them?

Another option is to see a psychologist to talk about what has happened and that might be a safer space for you to share without feeling like you are oversharing. Would you be open to this?

I hope it gets better for you soon,

Jaz xx

[quirkywords]

Elizabeth Louise

You received several helpful replies.

I wonder why you say you overshare did someone say that to you.

i feel talking to others about what has happened can be helpful.