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Ill health = depression and want relationship to break down

Ruby2018
Community Member
Hello, I’ve just joined. From the quick browse, I imagine I will receive heartfelt and considered replies. That alone worries me as I have zero, nothing, nada in the tank to help others. I’m at rock bottom. Have a serious illness and have given up work for the time being. Pain, I’ll health - it’s all too much, my disease is incurable. In a de facto relationship, approx five years. Want to end it. He is financially draining me. I’ve given too much and can’t and don’t want to anymore. He told me yesterday when I said I wanted to end it, he would get legal advice so he knew his rights. He came to me with nothing. Lives in my home. Has paid zero towards mortgage, rates and insurance. Occasionally bill money drifts by and occasionally food. I know by now you all think I’m stupid. I’ve been googling de facto rights and I’m terrified he can take some of my assets. I havebeen a fool. I know that. I just want him to go and leave me alone. I’m on fairly heavy medication for my disease and for pain relief. May or may not get back to work. I don’t know. I’m 50 and can not afford a free boarder!
6 Replies 6

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Ruby, a warm welcome to the forums and my sincere condolences for your incurable disease, however, I am interested to know if we could help you with this illness as there maybe ways to alleviate the pain you are having to cope with.

A free boarder is certainly not an ideal situation but if this de facto relationship has been going for 5 years then I'm sorry to say but he is entitled to 50/50, not unless a written agreement between the two of you has initially been made, and preferrably witnessed by someone in authority.

Any verbal has no legal bearing as it can be disputed causing an argument.

Please let us know if we can help you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Ruby2018
Community Member

Thank you Geoff for your input. I don’t believe it will be 50/50. He arrived with nothing and has put nothing financially in.

i am under the care of two very good specialists so there’s not much else to be done.

thanks, Ruby

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Ruby, thanks for your reply and I know it must be concerning for you.

I don't know of your exact circumstances, so can you please check for your own comfort, that it doesn't matter what he didn't have or what he didn't bring into the 5 year relationship he may be entitled to 50/50.

I would be contacting legal aid as there may be certain ways for this not to happen, but would definitely love to know.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi Ruby,

Thankyou so much for your post and welcome to the BB forums.

I was flabbergasted when I read about this man and my heart really dropped for you. What a selfish..... ( not allowed to swear on the forums).

You've given so much to him and through a distressing time in your life he's making u feel even more distressed. I would personally turn off from him...

Sorry love that this has happened to you. You are teaching many of us a lesson just by posting.

You're a great and honerable person. You took a huge financial load off this guy and carried him. If only he could now pull his weight financially or emotionally...

If there ends up being a legal battle I hope he walks away without much and his head bowed in shame. I understand the law is the law but you were the one that worked for everything.

Feel free to write in more and I wish u all the best.

MM.

Not sure if it helps but my freeloader stuck around for 15 yrs without paying bills, doing any housework or looking after the kids. I honestly thought he was on such a good wicket he would never leave but he did and I will lose the house I paid off and he will walk away free of children with hundreds of thousands of dollars Nice eh?

My advice, don't be like me, get rid of him ASAP.

Lily kitten, omg, noooooo. How can this be fair? The law is an ass. I’m sorry this is happening. I’ve talked to a lawyer. There is a legally binding agreement that can be reached. They did tell me that my ownership and dollars count for something and it won’t be a 50/50 split but his walk away figure is considerable. So flipping wrong huh?

MM thank you for your thoughts. I actually have an appointment with a lawyer in two weeks.