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I think I’m in a enmeshed relationship. Please help!

Community Member


I am struggling with my relationship with my Mum.

I love my Mum very much, I really do. We have always been close And I feel bad for even writing this but there are times and it is a lot of the time where I feel so smothered. There are no boundaries in our relationship. It’s like her happiness depends on me. I feel guilty a lot of the time. She worries excessively about me and constantly tells me what to do. She has a big heart and has done so much for me but she is attention seeking, guilt trips me to the point where I question my own sanity and it’s like she always needs some sort of validation or reassurance from me. She wants praise a lot. I feel an immense amount of pressure to be her ‘everything’ and as if I am so heavily relied on but I just can’t be that I get so emotionally drained. I am her only child and she doesn’t have a partner. I don’t know how to deal with it or set boundaries with her because it’s always been like this and I have only come to realise that it’s not healthy and has been affecting me way more than I thought. I end up feeling stressed, depressed and anxious please help!


1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Amy, and a warm welcome to the forums.

I'm sure you love your mum but you also need your freedom without the dominance and dependence that's being put on you, it's restricting your own development and you can never be sure what your mum is telling you is true, just to get your attention.

For her to smother you is not allowing you to move forward, any ideas you may have are being put down by your mum who may not change her ways.

Please consult with your doctor because the therapy they may suggest is about understanding the situation and realising that it's not your responsibility to help your mum because she needs special care and then the chance for you to be able to move forward.

There is a different world out there for you to discover and would really like to hear back from you.

Take care.