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I think I'll be alone forever

Community Member
Hi folks!
First time posting here, looking for some people who have maybe been through a similar situation as me and could offer some advice.
I'm in my early to mid 20s and have never been in a relationship. I have only ever kissed one guy who I met at a festival and have never seen since. I'm terrified that im going to be alone my whole life because I dont know how to let my guard down and actually be vulnerable enough to be with someone. I worry that because I didnt experience dating/love as a teen that if I get into a relationship now with an older guy he won't understand and will think that im juvenile because I've never dated anyone before and never had sex.
Theres a guy I like who is a few years older than me and I cant tell if he likes me back. I've known him for years through work so I dont know how to make the transition of friend to more than friends, and feel really awkward about embarrassing myself if he doesn't like me back. There's another guy I work with who I think is interested in me but I cant stop thinking about the first guy. I've never been the type to get hung up on someone before but I cant stop thinking about him. I'm just afraid that im broken and will never be able to find love.
Anyone have any advice? I know the usual 'everyone goes at their own pace deal, just wondering if anyone else was in the same situation as me and managed to have a relationship
2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Sleepyfox, absolutely and firstly a warm welcome to the forums.

My first girlfriend, I had the biggest crush on became my wife for 25 years, I was no different to how you feel, although if only you could see what was going on inside me, nerves galore and dry in the mouth, everything that maybe happening to you.

It's not so much as letting your guard down, because the person you're keen on will notice that your eyes are always focused on him, ever time you look at him.

I know how you are feeling, so go over to where he normally goes and bump into him, with your back and then apologise to him when he faces you, this may take a few times to even contemplate doing, like you maybe a couple of metres away and decide to leave him, but once you keep putting it off the harder this will come.

Remember he may feel exactly the same, and once you apologise ask to buy him a cup of coffee, it's only a couple of minutes where you can feel your heart punting so much, then it suddenly becomes easier, otherwise when you go home, all you'll be saying to yourself is 'yes I should have done it'.

Have the nerve like I did because that's exactly what my wife wanted.

Please get back to us when you can.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi sleepyfox and welcome to the forums and I can definitely relate to your story I was 30 before I went out with someone.I never kissed a girl or had sex to I was in my 30s.I ended marrying this girl I met and I was 35 y.o when I got married.I ended up having two children as well.I did meet someone else when I was in my 20s but never had the courage to ask her out and she passed way from cancer when she was 30.Talking to someone and seeing developing a connection with them is important.Age dosnt matter I was 6 years old then my wife and my dad was 12 years on then my mum and they were really happy together.I think the more guys you talk to the easier it will get.I am sure you will meet someone special one day.

Tale care,