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I’m terrified of my ex best friend
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I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so scared of this girl.. we have known each other for 10 years now she was my best friend and ex girlfriend.. but she’s always been the same.. she would comment of my weight and appearance, stalking my house and always take the guys that I liked away from me.. but she has gone to far, 3 years ago she falsely accused me of something horrible! she accused me of sexually assaulting her.. she turned my life upside down due to this.. we hadn’t spoken for 6 months after that.. but then she sent me a message saying that she falsely accused me and it was her boyfriend who told her to do it.. I couldn’t handle being around her.. she made me feel so worthless.. so I moved to another state.. but now she’s followed me here.. she has moved 3 times getting closer to where I live and now she’s only 30mins away… she stalks my social media’s, tells everyone that I SA’ed her and replicates everything move I make in life to how I look, dress and what I post on social media.. she’s destroyed a lot of my old friendships with the things she has told them and posts about me a lot.. I’m so scared of her.. I’m scared of doing things I wanna do in life.. I have sleep problems and since dealing with this whole situation I hate physical touch.. I feel like throwing up when I think about her.. I don’t know how to handle this anymore.. I feel like I’m drowning!
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That's ironic op with my name as randomx yours as random , for a minute there l thought someone must've been messing with my acc.
Anyway , this is terrible you going through this rubbish just bc of this person and being followed to new states , my God she is obsessed .
l'm sorry l'm not sure how you can handle that bc police can't stop her just moving l'd be assuming , l'd be thinking they would be able to stop her contacting you or coming near you in any way though even on sm, with restraining orders , might even drop into her place and have some stern words.
Something like those would be enough to stop most , l'd def' just at least talk to them.
Good luck and l hope others have some ideas.
rx
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Thank you:) I have thought about going to the authorities if she contacts me or makes any more posts about the situation.. but thank you very much.. hope you have a good day
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Random__,
Thank you for your openness in your post, we warmly welcome you to our forums. I'm so sorry, what an awful and isolating situation to go through. It can be horrible to know that somebody who we've trusted for so long can be so purposeful in spreading vile rumours and behaving in such a destructive manner.
First and foremost, it is important to be taking care of yourself during this time. Have you been seeing, or would you feel comfortable seeing your GP, a therapist, or psychologist about this situation? They may also have some strong professional recommendations for you, as well as allowing you to express all your feelings with regards to this situation. They may also help to alleviate your difficulty with sleeping.
If you would feel comfortable going to the authorities/police about this, it may bring you some comfort and peace to do so. Once again, it is entirely up to you whether you choose to take this step and how you may go about this. At the end of the day, you understand your circumstances the best, and may be able to determine what the appropriate course of action would be in this respect.
I'm wishing you all the best, and make sure you're taking care of yourself in the meantime. We're here to offer more verbal support and advice if you need to reach out again.
SB
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Hello sbella02 yes I have wanted to see someone about this situation but I have been in a rough financial spot and every place I’ve looked has been quite expensive.. I was seeing someone a bit ago but they didn’t make me feel any better they had made me feel worse on the situation.. but I’m still looking at the moment but I have considered many times to go to the authorities about it, but it scares me to go to the police due to what my old therapist had told me which was “no matter if I have proof that she admitted to it being a false claim.. it’s what she thinks now that matters” so I’m scared that if I go to the police I will be in trouble now for something I didn’t do.. hence why I feel very lonely in this all.. but thank you for your advice.. I will take it on and see what I can do with it.. I’m thankful to know someone cares
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I understand. You don't have to approach police at all, but it's only if you feel like it would be a reasonable and beneficial option for you at this stage. Of course, you know your circumstances best and what you feel comfortable doing and not doing, so it's entirely your choice.
I would also like to mention something else that I didn't in my last reply. It's a lot easier said than done, I know, but try not to dwell on the things that she has done in the past. It appears to me that your former "friend" has recognised what they can do to make you feel this way, and they enjoy doing so. You could start with repeating a few positive affirmations, like "I am more than the judgements of others" or "I will not allow her to control my thoughts", and you may find that the more you start to say or think things like this, they can become true for you. This is quite a minor change, but it can be quite effective over a long time.
I'd also like to advocate for the use of journalling or writing private letters that aren't meant for sending to people. It can be so incredibly therapeutic to write out exactly how somebody's behaviour is making you feel, even with no intent of the person reading it. It's one sure way to validate your feelings quickly and to get down to the root of what's causing you distress.
I'm so glad to hear that you're finding some comfort in the forums, that's all we can hope for. As always, stay safe and take care.
SB
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Thank you very much.. I didn’t think to do some of these things but I will for sure give them a go.. when I find a therapist that I feel that I can trust hopefully I will feel better about life and myself.. it’s just been so hard from how this all has effected me physically and mentally.. but thank you for giving your time and advice! I hope you have a good rest of your week