I Left My Boyfriend Because He Didn’t Like My Kids

[JustineW]

Hi allIm a single mum. Have been for over 7 years. My son just moved out age 19 and daughter soon turned 12. Last year I started seeing a man - for the first time since my marriage broke down in 2014. He was 18 years older and his children are all adult and moved out. As it was my first time dating in over 6 years, my daughter hated it. She still wants me to stay single and have me all to herself. She hardly sees her father. Anyway the man i was seeing didn’t want to include my daughter. He came to my house only 3 times and said he doesn’t have the patience for kids. I would go visit him and my daughter could come for small periods of time such as to swim in his pool. I told him it wasn’t going to work. She is my daughter and can’t be excluded and him and I have a warped relationship hardly seeing one another. I ended it but he was really annoyed and told me that nobody would tolerate my daughter, he’s not the bad guy and she will soon be a teenager living her own life.
i don’t agree. To me children come first and should be included in a relationship. I know there’s women out there would have walked away instantly and I wish I had too. How does anyone think it’s ok to date someone and not want anything to do with the most important people in their life - their children?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm so proud of you! You did exactly the right thing. How dare he suggest no one would like your daughter- rubbish, I bet I would!

I have 2 daughter now 32, 28. When they were 8 and 5 I was single and met my dream lady. She wasn't immediately taken with my kids but I thought it will just take time. Not so. In fact she refused to take them on interstate trips and was nasty a lot. Once she told them they can go back to their mothers house...without discussing it with me. That was the beginning of the end.

My only fault was hanging onto the relationship too long.

Step parent have one mandatory requirement- a nurturing nature that adores all children. Even if the children are problematic the step parent must have the natural unpretentious attitude of willingness to guide them and bring out the best in those children.

If not, that partner is not ideal and you deserve better.

TonyWK

[Petal22]

Hi JustineW,

Wellcome to our forums!

Good on you for ending the relationship with this man, your daughter is a part of you and if he couldn’t accept that then he’s not the man for you.

You will find a man who accepts you and your children.

Keep walking your path 🙏

[JustineW]

Thanks Tony

I’m sure you have a very close bond with your daughters today because you’ve always made them priority. And they too will be great parents from positive role modelling.