hello Ocelet, welcome to the site, and it certainly does amaze us and upset's us how life used to be a long time ago compared to how it is now, a vast difference, one which we would have never hoped it be like.
Take me back 40 years ago where I married my first g/friend, how much I was in love, there couldn't possibly be anything that could go wrong, but between those days to these current days, I'm divorced and so much has happened in those 40 years, some for the good and some which I wish I had never been through, but here I am now a changed person with 2 lovely sons and 2 adorable small g/daughters.
Sometimes our friends don't turn out to be, they want our/your help but will not give you 'the time of the day' only if it involves themselves, and that's where the disappointment begins.
Now I a handful of 3 or 4 people who I can call true friends, a vast difference to when I hadn't been sick where they were swarming like flies.
It's only natural that you are still grieving the loss of your father, which I can only say how sorry I am for you, and there will be people who will say 'he had a good life', that's not what you want to hear, because what it means is that they don't care and don't want to address the sadness you are suffering from, so it puts a barrier between you and them, so are these people true friends but they will never make you find joy once again.
Don't feel alone because here you have our support, why, because we have all been through times when we were alone ourselves, but now we have a multitude of people we can talk with who do understand how we are feeling.
Before I go I am concerned about any medical help you maybe getting, so please let us know. Geoff.
