I don't think he dumped me, his depression did HELP

[Bandit12]

My boyfriend dumped me this morning, we had been together two years, living together with our dogs and were about to buy a house. I will be moving out but I'm uncertain whether due to his depression he withdraw his decision. My boyfriend is highly prone to depression and it normally sweeps in with the dark cloud once he's stressed. He becomes stressed about one area of his life and it quickly spreads to how he feels about all other areas. I don't doubt that he loved me but he's claiming now that he feels no spark between us and that the love he has is not what it once was. I don't believe him. I am convinced that in his depressive state that he feels no joy in his whole life, therfore clouding how he feels about me. During our relationship he has had many ups and downs, I have supported him throughout them all. If his depression becomes too strong he normally starts analyzing our relationship even if the trigger was something completely different. In this case his parents are currently going through a very nasty, messy divorce that he has found himself the mediator in. In October we were happy and attending open houses, by November he is well and truly depressed about his parents, December depressed about his job and now early January the cloud has covered me. I'm unsure if he will realise he's made a mistake and the black cloud has conjured his decision. I'm not coping very well with his decision to break up as I love him and value our relationship, especially when the cloud clears. Any advice would be helpful, not really sure what to do

[nzks17]

Hi Bandit,

I can't offer you any advice but I just wanted you to know you aren't the only one experiencing this. I was recently dumped by my boyfriend and I'm quite sure his decision to dump me was significantly influenced by depression. I'm not coping very well either. It hurts because you want to be there for them and care for them but they don't seem to want you to be.

I sincerely hope you can work through this and come out in a better place. Thinking of you.

[Bandit12]

Hi Nzkz17 and Jessa004, I'm so sorry you are both also in the same heart wrenching situation as I am. I know that I need to give him space and take care of myself. I'm trying so hard to focus on what I need and not wondering if he's okay, what he's doing or whether he even misses me. I keep thinking that he's going to call and tell me he's made a huge mistake and to come back home to him and our dog ( killing me to be away from my staffy). But I know that he's probably over thinking every little thing that could possibly go wrong with us being together and how he's absolutely terrified about the plans we had to build a house and have children. I honestly believe that this has to be the end of us for it to ever possibly be rebuilt in the future and for him to maybe later on realize that he misses. I know he has a long way to go in actually becoming happy and loving himself. I guess I will occasionally still get a look in on how he's going due to the fact we actually work together as well... Needless to say it's another level of complications trying to give the one you love space when you still see them daily.. The devastating feeling I get from the way he has rejected me is nothing compared to the confusion I am carrying not knowing whether he does not love me or if it is the depression talking. Not really sure I'll ever know.

[pipsy]

Hi Jessa. I really wish I could give you some hope in this, but I can't. Your best bet is to try to move on and mark it to an enjoyable experience. You had 4 days of experiencing a beautiful love/friendship that few people ever have. I'm so sorry for your pain and rejection, but he has also rejected himself because 'running away' is a form of rejection too. I wouldn't hold out too much hope for a reconciliation even if he does contact you.

Lynda