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I don't know how to deal with separation anxiety

Community Member

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues and I'm being left behind. I don't know where to start

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Steve84,

I think it’s great that your wife is making new friends and getting out and about. But I understand how this can open up all sorts of issues and insecurities for you. The way I see it is you have two options - you can embrace this newfound change and encourage her and use it as the push you need to get out and do the same, which will ultimately strengthen your relationship given your support of her. Or you can stay at home and give in to your insecurities which will invariably lead to fights and her feeling unsupported and unhappy. I hope you don’t mind but can I ask, how is your relationship? Are you in a good place together? Do you trust your wife or do you have reason not to? 

We are both still in love with each other, bedroom time fun is nearly  every night unless she is away. But I do come across as more needy than her. And I am very supportive of her new friends but am finding it hard going from dropping everything to be there and help her and manage all home affairs, debts, cooking etc, I used to come straight home from work to be there for her. Now I just feel so lost, constant chest pains, sick. I don't know how to find a life after 16yrs really caring for her and now her needing space and other friends. We were away the other weekend at her sons bday party. We both went to bed early, but I stayed up to read, I borrowed her phone to use the torch feature but this friend of hers had messaged. I couldn't help but open it, as I was reading through I found they had sent inappropriate photos to one another.  I was a mess. I opened up to her and yes she was mad but also so sorry as she was drunk at the time when she was flirting. She said she needed other people to see and find her attractive like I do. She thinks she is ugly. How do I not worry about that too. She is my best friend, my only friend