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Husband left

Queseyoya
Community Member
Hi a week ago my husband suffered a mental breakdown. He has anxiety and is trying to get himself better. However he has decided that being away from the home is the best way. He is also unsure whether we will be a family again. He says I have done nothing wrong but is unsure whether we we back together.
32 Replies 32

Hello Q

It's good that you are deciding on boundaries. I have found that people can always find time to do what they want. Your husband may be busy at work and that is probably giving him a respite from his depressive thoughts and feelings. If he is committed to getting well again he can find time to see a therapist. The depression will not just give up and go away.

Perhaps you both need to sit down and commit to the boundaries. You need time to talk to the counsellor and he needs to see a psychologist or psychiatrist and take medication if this is what his doctor has said. I suggest these are non-negotiable. You both need to agree on what makes a good marriage and look at where your marriage is a little adrift. These are basic building blocks.

Please do not fall into the trap of doing all the work to mend your marriage because he does not have the time. As I said everyone can find time if they wish. Your resentment will not go away if he does nothing to get well and you will become angry. As they say, "It takes two to tango".

Look after yourself.

Mary

Thanks Mary,

He wants to see a psychiatrist that will be able to properly diagnose him as he wants medication. I agree he needs to make his recovery a priority above all else. If he is unwell it will continue to effect all aspects of his life. Here's to hoping for the best.

Great news. Get him to his GP for a referral to a psychiatrist and take it from there.

Mary