Hurtful words from sister post miscarriage

[cih16]

I had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks. When I told my sister (after some comments she made) she said “don’t be sad, it happens to everyone”.

I told her that I couldn’t believe she said that and that it is a terrible thing to say.

This has really hurt me. It’s been over 2 months since her comment and I still think about it daily. I haven’t spoken to her since.
My husband isn’t as phased by her comment and now that some time has passed he thinks I should speak with her again. I’m not close with my family so haven’t told them about my miscarriage but they know my sister has said something really terrible. They think I should stop being so sensitive and get over it.

I do not know anyone that has miscarried or understands what I’m going through.

I’m feeling upset and lonely and was hoping by sharing my story there would be others that can relate to my situation and provide some support around what my sister has said to me and my feelings towards it.

[KindnessWithin]

I’m very sorry that you are going through this. It is such a deeply personal experience to go through and no words can describe the depth of emotions. I hope you take time to heal and take it one day at a time.

I am also surprised at your sister’s comment. It definitely is clumsy wording and terrible delivery. Definitely the opposite of what someone needs to hear during this time.

I guess it depends on how she said it. It wasn’t the best thing to say but the question is how it was delivered. Was it by itself with no other conversation or in the middle of a long conversation where she may have clumsily said these words trying to be comforting.

If your sister has a history of being unsupportive and this is another way she has demonstrated this, then I absolutely follow your train of thought in not talking to her. But if you have a great relationship outside of this, then I would definitely try to talk to her about it.

Best of luck and all the best.