How do you handle the loss of your best friend to mental health? She didnt die, but i miss her.

[Sometimes at a loss]

Hi,

I have had my bestie for over 20yrs now. About a year ago she went downhill and was suicidel. She called me and told me and we went to hospital and she was admitted for about a week. They changed her meds and it has been a battle since then.

She has decided to end her marriage, is constantly chasing younger men and has absolutely no time to talk or text me anymore. We would chat at least every 2nd day.

Her relationships with her now ex and her kids have all gone downhill, and as pretty much her only friend/confidant she has barely even spoken to me. If i text to check in i got short 1 or 2 word answers, i tried calling once and she hadnt listened to a word i had said and did long pauses of silence, which i later found out that was because she was texting a guy she openly calls toxic. 

We also happen to work together and she still refers to me as her bestie but im not feeling it in the slightest.  She ignores me, unless we are talking about her sex life or the latest guy she has been talking too she ignores anything i say. 

I actually dont think she even realises that she has been doing it despite me trying to talk to her about my concerns. 

Im worried about her mental state, i can see she still isnt right but i have a lot going on right now and i need my support person and she hasnt been there for a year now. I dont have anyone else that i can freely chat to and no longer know what to do. 

I have dialed back with my check ins on her because i need to focus on my mental health and protecting myself. I have a multitude of issues i am dealing with atm and no one that i can talk them through with to help.

What do i do? 

[Croix]

Dear Sometimes~

Welcome back, I"m sorry to hear about this situation as losing support makes a huge difference. I have depression at times and anxiety and the support I receive from my family makes all the difference.

On the up side it sounds rather like you were able to assist your friend though a pretty hard time as she had confidence in you.

It is a pity that since that time she seems to have changed all her relations, family and partners and is no longer in seeing you as someone that may need her assistance.

It may be the change of meds, I remember a long time a go I was given an anti-depressant the really released all my inhibitions -not a good thing. Fortunately I was not on it too long as it extended to my driving style which became overconfident and dangerous,  normally I drive very quietly.

I did not ask for the change, my psychiatrist picked it up and ordered a change of meds as a result. In your friend's case if she does not realise something is wrong then I'm not sure there is much you can do. as an adult she is in charge of her medical treatment.

A year age you were seeing a psych, do you mind if I ask if you are still doing so to get a measure of support? I think you implied there was nobody else apart from your friend you could gain assistance from in your life.

May I ask how your son is getting on -you were worried about him a while back

Croix

Have you considered a support group, something many find very helpful after the get over a natural reluctance to join. if you contact our own 24/7 help line they may have some idea about resources available in oyur area