How do I stop being self righteous and angry?
first time on here. Feel I have no where else to go. Had been hit hard with stress and anxiety at work then treated really bad by company I'd given 10 years to after going out on stress leave. They wore me down until I stuffed up and then sacked me.
I have been unemployed for 7 months the first time ever in my life. I have a great supportive family. I thought that having so much time at home would bring us together but I seem to just be arguing all the time "I'm" always right about something or getting defensive or snapping all the time.
I just now had a massive argument with my wife and my mother in law and feel like there is no coming back from it...just don't know what to do.
The arguments usually stem from me being overerly defensive about something or being too stubborn not to know when I'm wrong and apologise or if I've raised my voice.
I don't even know I'm doing this until it's too late and I don't know why I'm doing it or how to stop it. It's like its subconscious or something ?
Please any advise on how to stop doing this I love my family and don't want to subject them to me being like this anymore.
Welcome to the forums!
I must feel awful to get sacked after 10 years of working for a company. Can you raise a complaint with Fair Work for unfair dismissal?
The arguments that you mention are probably a result of your stress and anxiety. Have you seen a GP about it? I'm sure that could help, together with counselling sessions.
I can also suggest you try meditation, if you haven't before. It's very effective to calm the mind, and creating a positive state of mind.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you go.
All the best.
I've written this advice to others who need assistance controlling their anger. I recommend that before you do anything, before you say anything, that you first completely exhale and then fully inhale. This pause to breathe, allows the mind to stabilize from the onrush of Adrenalin and to organize your thoughts for how you want to respond, before you respond.
ps: For a more detailed explanation, have a google for "subduedblues anger management site:beyondblue.org.au"