highly critical mother

[David35]

I live with my mum who's had cancer for the last 18 months on and off but is now in the clear. I've emotionally suffered with panic attacks which have increased since her treatment/diagnosis. Now that she's okay, I'm struggling to get better. I had virtually no support throughout this period and considering I live with her it's taken its toll on me.

One minute she will be supporting me, next minute she will be criticising or abusing me. I'm just sick of it. Some days I just wake up with panic attacks, and then she will start breaking down and then saying things like "I hope you're happy now". Or she'll be undermining the therapy that I've been getting, and expects me to be fixed up within a few sessions. I know I have struggles and they rub off on her, but I am seeking help. I just get sick of the abuse, especially when she's been drinking.

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I can see from your post that living with your mum's cancer diagnosis has taken an emotional toll on you, leading to increased panic attacks.

Despite little support, you sought therapy (which take courage in itself), but your mum's inconsistent behavior and occasional abuse have made it quite challenging. And it's disheartening to hear that your mum undermines the therapy you're receiving and places unrealistic expectations on your progress.

It's important to prioritize your safety and well-being, reach out to trusted individuals for support, and consider joining support groups. I assume there are other people in your life that you can reach out to?

You've shown strength in seeking help.

[JED1980]

Hi David35

That sounds like a tough situation to be in. Sounds like you have a lot going on.

Have you maybe tried talking to your mum? Point out how she is hurting you? 

I noticed you mentioned therapy. Perhaps talking to the therapist about whats happening might help? They may be able to give you some suggestions on what to do  or how to deal with what is happening? 

Here if you need a chat.

J x

[David35]

It's like drowning in a sinking ship some days. I think she just feels guilt for apparently causing all the stress, even though i tell her its not her fault. Its like if her advice doesnt work, then she just gets sick of me. Thanks for listening.

[JED1980]

Sometimes i think parents (and people in general) struggle to understand what others are going through, and are well meaning, but their advice might not be helpful or what you want to hear. Hence why they see it as not working.

Hang in there, chat to your therapist. You are doing the best you can, and we are always here if you need us 

Jx