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Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

pipsy
Community Member
I was abused my by own family as a child and now I feel as though it's starting again.  My husband knows about my past but says I have to 'rise above it', easy for him.  His parents have been very nasty to me and I feel everytime he visits them (often), he's rewarding them for hurting me.  I've tried to explain this to him, but he 'switches' off.  What can I do to overcome this 'betrayal' feeling?
118 Replies 118

pipsy
Community Member
Hi Geoff.  Lovely to hear from you and pleased you're home.  Now begins your road to recovery, fingers, toes, eyes and ears crossed.  The G.P has decided to try a cream treatment.  He indicated that because of where the cancer is, above the eye, cutting into it, or burning it could be a problem.  Burning it could lead to other skin problems (as you indicated).  There are no actual lines indicating where the cancer 'starts' and where the skin is NOT affected.  Cutting it would be difficult as he could accidentally cause problems with my eyebrows.  With the cream, it's once a day (morning) for about 4 weeks.  If I develop an allergy; blistering, skin breaking, bleeding etc, I'm to stop the cream and we will explore further options.  Here's hoping.  I have returned to the church and I feel very positive about it.  I now understand L better, his parents are basically narcissistic.  L said he totally supported me returning to the church.  He doesn't understand I don't need his support or blessing.  I don't really need anything from him.  His parents need L and his sister to feel better about themselves.  I represented a threat to them, taking L away from them.  L doesn't understand them (and probably never will).  I feel very sorry for them and have forgiven them completely.  I will probably never see them again, so I will never have to be threatened again.  I feel almost completely healed and don't fear L or them anymore.  I don't think L will ever be able to be my husband, but that's okay.  I don't need him, to be happy.  I am quite happy to 'date' him, but I will never go away with him, they won't let him alone and he can't break the hold.   His mother is very unhappy and has lost the will to live.  Once she passes which, for her sake, I hope won't be too long, I think the father won't last much longer.  After that, we'll see.    Thank you for what you said about me having to tell my aunt.  I was basically an emotionally battered wife, you'll be pleased to know, that situation is no longer.  Again thank you for taking the time to contact me, I was just starting to feel a bit alone.  Hope you start to feel better soon, too.  Love P.xxx     

Lost_Girl
Community Member

Hey Lynda,

I am not sure if you have a later thread but I hope this will do.

I just wanted you to know I am here for you as much as I can be.

Big hugs from me, a shoulder for you and an open heart to care.

Love,

Carol xx

Guest_5218
Community Member

Hi Lynda, same as Carol says, I'm here too. Or I'll try to be soon. (-:

I can see that its going to be a rough time for you for a while. I just read of your latest biopsy results on another thread as I browsed.

My hubby had some similar bad news a couple of days ago. He had a growth removed from his back last week. Pathology has come back that it is a malignant melanoma. Of course the hope is that they got everything already, but he still needs to have further surgery to remove another 5cms all around the original lesion. Just as a precaution. And I expect your radiology will also be just as a precaution. I hope so anyway.

So I know how devastating news like this can be for you, as well as to those around you.

I will be thinking of you, along with a wish that everything goes as well as it possibly can do.

And btw, I do love your latest profile pic. You have such a lovely smile, and I envy those gorgeous dimples. (-:

Keep smiling Lynda.

Sherie xx

pipsy
Community Member

Thank you Sherie. Since the very first time I posted (seems like another era), the support I've had has overwhelmed me. Growing up, I was totally alone. I had parents (such as they were), but because I wasn't wanted, I was left to fight my own battles. I don't feel sorry for myself as much as I did. Since coming on here, the support and camaraderie has been incredible. My sunshine returned after receiving the support right from the start. Today has been a bit cloudy, but I know the sun will return. My momentary relapse with depression is just that, a relapse, a set-back. Tomorrow, I will be 'back' to my normal self hoping I can again lead someone else into the sunshine.

Lynda

Lost_Girl
Community Member

Hi Lynda,

You have certainly helped me!

There's no rush to be back to "normal". I would say "normal" right now would be a bit of a cry, a bit of self-reflection, and a bit of reassesssing life and your part in it. Don't feel like you have to be strong. It's ok to have a moment and to have others care for you for a bit.

I feel very sorry that you were not cared for how you deserved to be when you were young and then too in the subsequent relationship with the inlaws. If only they had known what they were missing out on in really knowing you. Their loss I say. I am glad you have your BB support network too.

I supported my Mum through radiation treatment. If you feel like talking about it at some stage I am happy to listen or share her experience of what it was like. It is a much better option than chemo so I am glad you don't have to have that.

Thinking of you,

Carol xx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Lynda,

I hope you don't mind me catching up on your story. wow, you are a strong woman.

I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here to support you however I can. i'm glad Carol and Sherie are here too.

cmf x

pipsy
Community Member

Thanks for your kindness. It means more than you will ever know. The amount of support shown so far has been incredible.

Lynda

Teetoe
Community Member

Hi Pipsy

I'm just a newbie and probably not much help, but your insightful posts on my thread so much helped me when I needed it. Just want to know that I am following this and feeling for you re your worrying news. Am here for you too. Sending hugs, white light and may the news get better.

pipsy
Community Member

Thank you Teetoe. It means more than you can know, for me to know I was able to help you. Hoping everything is going well for you now. Sometimes when we don't hear back, we hope we've helped in some way. When we do get positive feedback, it makes what we do worthwhile.

Lynda