Hatred by daughter

[glimmer_of_light]

Not sure whether or not my daughter has taken drugs or still on drugs, but her personality and behaviour has dramactically changed. My husband and I have bent over backwards to encourage her, support her (especially financially wise the past year). She is 18, has just recently moved in with boyfriend whom we don't know very well at all. Tried to avoid the situation at all costs but unfortunately the law was outta our hands. One month ago after paying for and organising her 18 she suddenly has wiped me (mother), father and sister totally from her life. Does not want to see us, talk to us and has blocked my number. Leading up to this she has been saying things that were very paranoia in nature. I know for a fact that the students she hung around with were on drugs. She has portrayed some signs perhaps of either drug use (presumed no evidence) or mental health illness or both. Rumors in school grounds were circulated. For three months approx this year her skin on her face got really bad and nothing seemed to clear it. Eventually went on antibiotic/skin solution regime for approx 3 months. She always has bruising up both legs, and has distance herself from all of her friends. Didn't really seem to have many anyway. Now she says the most hurtful things without any remorse or reasoning. Is there any one out there that has any personal experience on the level whereby could shed some light. ? Ice- some of the traits kinda lead to this drug. Although was still maintaining studies at VCE level, and going to work. I'm beside myself as I think she is at risk- unfortunately nothing I can do over 18.

[glimmer_of_light]

Dear pipsy. It took me ages to get to this section of the forum. For some reason the tab on the home page (join forum) is not there anymore and l can't navigate without it. My daughter l'm having trouble with, is going all out now. I have some left over possessions of hers at the unit which she is trying to get her older daughter to help her access while l'm not in presence. If this should happen l would feel highly violated. Plus she is saying that if her sister doesn't give her the items she is involving the police and telling them that these items r stollen goods. What the heck?  Why is she doing this to me. Is she trying to destroy me completely? If you answer this post, it may take me sometime to find it!

[pipsy]

Dear glimmer of light.  To give you some peace of mind.  I would suggest you BE there when your daughter comes.  She doesn't have to know you're there, tell your other daughter to not tell her you're going to be there.  It's a bluff that your daughter says she will involve the police if she doesn't get her stuff back.  If she did ring the police to say her stuff was stolen, they would ask all sorts of questions.  She would have to prove you took them, if she left them there when she left, how could you take them?  Sorry to say this, she's behaving like a spoilt brat.  Just be there when she comes, it's your home, she actually needs your permission now to get in.  If she comes in while you're not there, without your permission, she's violating you.  Your other daughter can't let her in without your permission.  Tell your daughter to ring and make arrangements, at your convenience, to come and get her stuff.  If she rings the police, that'll be one thing they'll query. 

Stand your ground on this one.  Your daughter needs to know, your home is your home, the same as her home is her home.  Who you let in or not is at your discretion.