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Go away December... hurry up January!

SubduedBlues
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Today is the 28th of November, and January can't get here soon enough. I really do dislike December.

For many people, December means social gatherings with colleagues, friends and family, to celebrate the spirit of giving. And with NYE and the fireworks, the hope of a new year and a better tomorrow.

Where externally I put on a good show, for the benefits of family and friends, internally it is the painful prequel leading up to a time of disappointment and loneliness. As far back as I can recall, I have always been the outsider, the castaway, and the excluded. At first, Christmas was the day spent sitting in the chair, quietly facing the wall, whilst siblings and cousins played with the new games and toys. Later it became that day quietly sitting in the other room, whilst they shared eggnog, merrily conversed and shared a pleasant meal. Now days, it's pretending to be happy so my kids don't have to experience that hollow absence that always visited me.

My hope is that my kids will never learn of my holiday misery, that they will instead pass on holiday joy to their families (when that time comes), and that they will never feel the loneliness of Christmas. On the positive side, my kids are flying down on Christmas day to see their mother. (they should be gone by the time I feel blue)

7 Replies 7

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi SB

There would be many people on the forums that feel exactly the same as you do. I feel your pain this time of year as it brings back so many memories and especially when I was a child....the true joy of Christmas

I was fortunate as I spent my childhood in Niagara Falls ONT and I remember how special Christmas was....white Christmas etc...Carols...it was magical..

I have forced myself to see my GP so often for support and a 'fine tune' that I am less depressed with Christmas the last few years but it can have its hurdles when we have depression...thats for sure SB

My Best

Paul

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi SB, I must say I have to agree, Xmas and December is not my favorite time, but I have 2 little granddaughters so I have to pretend who I love dearly, but I don't go to any sibling's Xmas celebrations and haven't for years.
Hope 2018 is a better year for all of us. geoff.

Anki
Community Member
Hi SB - I feel your pain. I dislike this time of year too - I start feeling anxious in November and instead of letting it all flow I feel like I have to make plans to get through and then I become indecisive and end up in the same place, not having made plans or making plans but feeling awkward because it they are 'plans' and a survival strategy rather than 'normal' social encounters. I don't have a partner at the moment, no children and most of my family are no longer alive - I have friends but I feel there is a missing 'core' in my life, and at this time of year everyone goes off to be with their core or special people, so this missing part becomes more obvious and painful. The rational part of my brain knows it's just my attitude and it's not such a big deal but then I start falling apart a bit (ok, sometimes quite a lot). I'll keep working on it I guess... all the best to everyone struggling with this

Janders
Community Member

I'm one of those people who hate this time of year as well. I usually meet up with my siblings, but I have no friends to get together with. (My siblings are well-meaning, but - the one time a year I generally see them - they tell me of all the great times they've had this year, what they and their friends have done this year, what their wonderful children have done this year.... It does not make me feel better!)

Perhaps we could all help each other by not pretending any more, that we need to do anything for Christmas and New Year. A lot of the problem is that when I go back to work next week, people will ask what I did for Christmas / New Year, if I say "nothing" I'm made to feel as if there's something wrong with me, because of course "everybody" gets together with friends and family. Maybe if we all stopped pretending to others that Christmas is a great time, we wouldn't all feel like there was something wrong with us for not enjoying it.

Instead of saying 'nothing', try something along the lines of 'a lot of down time', or 'I enjoyed the peace and quiet'

Juan_Kenobi
Community Member

Hi everyone,

I'm with you all on this topic... Reading what everyone has written makes me feel like I'm not alone...

We'll all get through this!

SubduedBlues said:Instead of saying 'nothing', try something along the lines of 'a lot of down time', or 'I enjoyed the peace and quiet'

Great advice....