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Girlfriend who suffers from anxiety and depression has left me.

CamD
Community Member

New to hear and personally I am not a sufferer of anxiety or depression but that is the reason I am here. I'll explain the situation first, my girlfriend of nearly 2 years has broken off our relationship. She has suffered anxiety and depression for a fair period of time now, that said it only came as news to me over the last 8-9 months when she told me as it had become very bad due to stress from university and life in general. Over the past 8 months since then we still had a very happy relationship despite some bumps as all relationships do but over the last month her condition has drastically worsened. This partly due to my fault as I tried to understand her condition and help but I could not help in the way I or she needed. This was worsened by myself stupidly telling a very close friend of ours that she did have a anxiety as I was looking for help and assistance to aid my girl friend and the close friend was also a sufferer. My girlfriend found out about this and due to the fact I was specifically told not to tell anyone and i lied first time around about telling the friend she has decided to end the relationship. I apologised continuously for 3 days but was told she no longer could be with me and needed time to go figure herself out. I totally understand this decision and want nothing but happiness for her but I still have very strong feelings for her and would love a second chance. She has changed all her social media to single but all the photos of us still remain.

My questions are

1. Could this be the depression talking and she still does love me ?

2. Is there anyway I can get her back and would you have any advice on how with a person with such a condition

3. How do you help a partner, I offered to go to her counselling and psychiatrist bookings with her but she did not want to pursue the relationship.

I love this girl to bits and know if I got a second chance I would never make this mistake again. There is more minor details to the scenario but I'll explain them a bit later after a reply is left.

Thanks in advance.

Cam

11 Replies 11

c4rina
Community Member

Hey Luke,

6 Weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because of depression and today was the first time i texted him. Do you usually reach out every once a week? My ex ended up replying to me and asked me how I was, then i responded back and also asked how he was, however i still haven't received a response, its been a whole day.. I don't know if I should keep reaching out.. Of course I'm not going to push it and ask him why he isn't responding to me, that will push him away further.. It took me about 5 hours to think about what to say to him because I didn't want to say the wrong thing, but I just never know what is the right and wrong thing to say. I pray to god all our ex's all get better soon so we can all be happy again ..

Luke89
Community Member

Hey Carina

i mean I'm certainly no expert I am only going off my own experience.

What I found was the more I tried to help etc the worse it made it.

It Probably depends on the person, I know when I was suffering depression problems last year I was very willing to let my family and friends in as I admitted that I had a problem straight away. until they realise they have a problem I don't think anyone can really help much 😞

ive just let my ex go basically - I know I will hear from her again in the future and she will just go over the same thing again so I don't think she will change anytime soon unfortunately as all her problems stem from a bad upbringing.

all u can do is tell them you are there for them without trying to push them, it's a fine line u tread unfortunately.

i wish u the best, let us know how u go

Luke