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Gaslit by a toxic sibling.
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I lost it yesterday!
Somehow, my sister (who treated me badly throughout my childhood., verbal, physical and destructive abuse), has wormed her way into dad’s ear. Apparently, I am not to have access to his accounts. (I am co-power of attorney).
My parents had a tumultuous relationship… divorced when I was 14, but I continued my relationship with my dad, from the time I was 16.
Older brother and sister didn’t… they were ‘team mum’ for many, many years (Mum passed in 2018).
Forward 40 years, and I have now been deemed unsuitable (by my remaining family) to have an active participation in my 90 yo father’s wellbeing and financials.
Why? No one will tell me!
Even dad (who still has his wits), thinks I’m causing trouble by insisting on having an active involvement in where his money is going.
Does a history of psychological issues, deem me unsuitable?
I have never been in ‘hospital’ for it.
It was controlled, until yesterday…
I’m now rock bottom. Again!
I am gutted!!
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Hi, welcome
Wills are the most contentious issue among family members. Just about every person will know of a will dispute or conflict with an elderly member etc. So, with some experience in this matter here is what I would do.
Draw back from the family to a position whereby you monitor your dads health and well being. Allow all the fanfare to go over your head and dont get involved.
Once your dad passes away immediately commission a lawyer to act on your behalf. Your fathers estate will not be allowed to be distributed for several months so there is plenty of time for negotiations regardless of whats in the will and a lawyer will act on your behalf. He/she will ask you to list his assets... all of them! and if missing they will be asked to find them.
What you have on your side is you have remained a loving caring daughter.
Now, the secret now is to let it go, it is simply not worth your health to become embroiled in the squabbling. Your lawyer will ensure you get your piece of the assets and then you can drift away from those that should be more loving and fair.
TonyWK