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Friendship Mass Exodus

The_Possum
Community Member

This is my life right now. Relationships falling apart everywhere. There's some saying that, when times are tough your true friends are revealed. Well.. Clearly I have none.

My closest friend since school, is constantly harassing me or saying horrible things about my situation.

Another friend is accusing me of been mean and that I owe her an apology for something that I've done nothing wrong. Again this is another 15+ friendship. She also likes trivialising all my problems. I should get over it.

My corporate group of friends are all dwindling off because I no longer work. So I'm too lowly for them. I also don't have the disposable income to keep up with their social activities.

I have a psychologist accuse me of been OCD when I'm not, & ended up having my psychiatrist assess me to make sure. Even he thought the whole thing was bizzare. She didn't take too kindly to that & I don't feel comfortable seeing her now.

My GP of years that I trusted so much and admired really, I think is trying to remove my mother from my life so she can step in..

I have no friends lol The first time in my entire life to say this, but I really don't.

It's depressing to me. Should I try to salvage any of these relationship or start over?

Has anyone else lost all their friends during difficult times?

41 Replies 41

kanga_brumby
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Possum I rely feel for you.

You ask if any of us have lost friends after hard times. Since my partner and I had children we started to lose friends. Then she got cancer and died from that. That was the middle of the end for our friends then my health went north for the winter. I am now alone in the world. But not down and out the fight is still in this old fella.

Kanga

Hi Kanga

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it. I'm sorry for the loss of your partner to cancer. My mum is battling terminal cancer and it's devastinf. I hope you and the kids are doing alright.

Even just last night I had a friend message me that I should go on Facebook to see all her road trip photos because her road trip is better than mine (that we did last year).

She didn't even ask how I was going with everything she knew I was dealing with. It was just to gloat. My husband said to me, these people are not friends.

I just can't believe that at such a difficult time, people would turn away. I've always been there for everyone and probably cared too much. But that's my nature, I've always felt if I can make a positive difference in someone life then I'll do it. Obviously others don't feel the same way.

So like you it is just my little family vs the world, and I find the hard when I had such a bubbling social life and friends gathered in personal and professional contexts as well as long term friends. It's just bizzare to me.

Are you trying to make new friends and if so how?

I have started to learn ukulele and I some times go to a venue where I listen to music, close to my home. Spending as little as possible as I am on a pension. Hopefully by being regular the people will recognize me and become friends. It's a long shot but I am not giving up yet. I look at it like I look at raising children. You don't give up on it till one side or the other is no longer breathing. I don't intend stop trying to find a friend till there are no people left on the planet.

Kanga

clownartist
Community Member

Hi The Possum

Been there no friends years of bringing up children giving up a lot for kids

Now separated for three years friends just disappeared it so depressing realising how lonely life can be

I don't have the answers yet just living one day at a time CA

Hi kanga

Sorry for the delay I missed this post.

Well firstly I admire your strength and not giving up. It's really quiet inspiring.

Getting yourself out there with your music interests does seem a good way to meet people and make friends so I think that's great.

I'm thinking I need to do something similar. I'm just deciding what.

There's a personal trainer who runs a small group class at my local park, I was thinking of enquiring as it's a good way to get some exercise in and meet people.

Historically I'm a runner and went to the gym. But I'm struggling a bit and don't have the energy. Maybe a small group will be good for me to get back into it.

I hope we both find people on this planet that like us for us!

Have a good day x

Hey CA thanks for posting and sorry for the delay.

I just find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that when we need people the most is when we lose them.

I actually feel that it was my career propping up most of my relationships and socials because it's been since then that it's downhill.

And if stepping out for health and change of circumstances means I've lost all that then.. Well frankly.. They weren't real friendships in the first place.. Thinking like that makes me feel worse but it seems like the truth.

As for long term close friends well that just saddens me to no end. I feel a bit used really when I think back of all the things I've supported them over the years.

Anyway it's all about moving forward. Dwelling in the past is a waste of time. It changes nothing.

I'm currently looking at what activities and hobbies I can get involved with so I can potentially meet others.

Have you looked into anything like that?

Peace x

Ah yep. A lot of my friends all did the domesticated thing, (no offence guys if you are partnered, married, parents etc. To be honest a part of me regrets never doing that, but then I am a non conformist!), and therefor I am out in the cold because I don't fit in with the niche anymore.

But hey when they need something, who do they run to? -.-

On the flip side to everyone, if people are being as described above, is it not better to boot them to the curb?

I understand how painful it is. If we were all nearby I would totally hope I have found real life friends amongst you all!!

Gym friends are great. My old long time old band mates are great. I am going to go back into music again next year just to make noise and be social. I miss that. It is usually with a beer in hand HAHAH.

Velvz.

XX

Possum

I like this thread. I am sorry for the friends that have left.

Maybe I am different but I have never had many friends never been popular.

This means the few I have are very loyal and trustworthy and supportive,.

I suppose I make a distinction between friends and acquaintances.

Hi Kanga, clownartist, Velvet, and all those reading.

Quirky

Hey Velvz

Getting back to your own band mates seems like it's getting back to your soul mates! So I say go for it, and it's great you have them to go back to.

I will keep looking into my options. I have this rapid cycling bipolar issues to sort out right now and have had some not pleasant thought which is why I was in contact with my psychiatrist on holidays. So I might lay low until im feeling a bit better. Never really felt as strange as I do right now.

Take care x