Xmas tests us folk. Its a time every year that has the most stress, sadness due to family divide and the close of the year has us reviewing our relationships. Fear not for its actually a great opportunity.
Only you can take control in the new year to ensure that Xmas next year will be a better one as will 2017 overall.
We need to take control by making hard decisions. We are soft people that don't have the hardened mentality of others. We need to draw a line in the sand and build a wall to self preserve.
Im into my 7th year of doing thus. Each year I fine tune my relationships. People know now that my dealings with them are conditional. They know if they are disloyal, manipulative, uncaring, demanding or inconsiderate...their time with me is limited or even terminal. The way they've seen how I've removed some from my life...even my mother.
In fact my now 85yo mother is the best example. Likely with chronic BPD with heavy narcissistic and manipulative tendencies she ruined my first wedding, lied about her health and would not assist me with my mental health struggles as her issues were always more important and severe.
The line was drawn. The wall was erected. The cost has been loss of relatives that she was able to convince of my wickedness. So be it. As I say to some "my mother has some good points...its the bad points I cannot live with" and "only a child of my mother knows what that is like".
But most importantly, those that you keep around you also need care. Having a mental illness isn't a one way street, we need to, when able, reach out and show appreciation.
I have a dear friend a single grandmother. She told me quietly she was depressed a few weeks ago. Since then I subtlety sent her a beyondblue link about depression and asked how she has been. Last night she had recovered and thanked me for my input. She knows of my struggles. It was a good feeling helping someone that has been there for me.
Reach out to the right people but save up your bricks for that wall to hold back the intruders.
Forgive them for they not know what they do. But don't feel guilty when you mortar in that last brick.
Those types don't know how to treat you or help you. Let those birds of a feather flock together.
Then next year you can learn to fly around with your own, because you've created a "safe mode" of your own life. You would have in effect taken action as important as some medical treatments
You were decisive to ensure a happier survival...
Tony WK
