Fifo family

[azreal75]

My wife is now a fifo worker. She is 2 weeks away 1 week home and as much as she tries to talk to us at home (myself and the 2 kids) she's often tired or in a rush. She's nearly at the end of her second swing and it is wearing me down already. I've seen her for 6 and a half days in the last 5 weeks and most of those days I was at work; I'm a teacher.

I'm exhausted after work and then I'm basically a single parent and we keep the kids pretty busy with their sport and music lessons several days a week and on the weekends. So my school week is super busy. But it is so lonely. Then there's all the house work, cooking, ironing, homework etc to do each day. I wasn't prepared for how draining this would all be and if I had thought it through I would have actively encouraged her not to take the job. However, this is it for now, the job, the lifestyle is here to stay for the foreseeable future.

But I'm not coping. I can't sleep in my own bed, it feels empty without her. I don't sleep well. I can't stop thinking about her. I am getting emotional and I have had several nights where I cry myself to sleep. I'm moody. I really have to watch myself around the kids so I don't yell at them for doing trivial naughty things. So far it hasn't impacted on my work.

But everyone else is doing fine. My wife thinks her job is ok but her workmates are good fun, she's made some good friends. It's long hours but they have good facilities and she's doing lots of social stuff and sport classes...and the food is good. My kids are doing well, they seemed to have handled the extra responsibility they now have with ease. Haven't had a single time when one of them has been upset about their mum being away.

But I'm hating every minute of it. The moodiness, the distraction, the sadness, the loneliness and feeling of hopelessness. So what do I do? I don't have family support in the area and very few friends. None of which I can talk to about this on anything but a very superficial level. I don't really know what to do. So I guess that's what this thread is about. What can I do to make things better, to be able to cope better with a new lifestyle that I just hate so much.

[gld]

Hi azreal75,

I feel it could be difficult to put a label on yourself without seeking support from a health professional. When you go to doctors about your sleep issues you could talk to him about what is going on for you.

azreal are you able to leave your phone in your car or locked in a draw and give yourself a set time to look at it without it keeping in your pocket. I feel as a woman that sometimes when i express myself to my husband that something gets lost in the translation, as too when my husband expresses something to me i may take it the wrong way. Sometimes i have to change how i express myself as i feel men and women are slightly different in this respect.

How is your cleaning lady going?

Look after yourself and give yourself credit as you will need time to learn ways to adapt to your busy lifestyle.

Gen

[azreal75]

Yeah good idea. I could try that, I don't know if I have the self discipline to follow through on it though, but it's worth a try.

Getting to a dr is proving to be quite challenging but fingers crossed I man up and go next week. I was exhausted today. My daughter woke me up after midnight sometime and my son did as well some time before dawn, not what you need when sleep is already an issue.

The cleaning lady is good though. Its nice being able to leave some chores to her.